Day: December 9, 2004

Tonight I went to a church christmas party.  I have no idea how many hours of work went into putting it together.  It was obviously a labor of love because you couldn’t pay someone to work that hard.  The walls were lined with mural sized scenery paintings and they’d constructed a train that kids could ride in.  They even did a  reading of The Polar Express complete with costumed actors.

That was the problem.  I took my kids to a church function where they were told a powerful and beautiful story about believing in Santa Claus.  Christ was not mentioned once in the entire evening.

I suddenly understand what it must be like for a non-religious person to be surrounded by christian assumptions.  I don’t believe in Santa Claus.  I don’t teach Santa Claus to my kids.  We all have fun together pretending about Santa Claus sometimes, but we all know it is a pretend game.  I’m never going to have to face a child who feels like the magic is gone from Christmas because they figured out the truth.  I will never teach my children anything as truth that I don’t believe is true.

This puts my family at odds with 99% of American society.  Santa Claus is pushed at my children in school, by friends, in stores, in books, in movies, just about everywhere.  I’d have thought they’d be taught correctly at Church.  To be fair, they are taught many wonderful and truthful things each Sunday.  We come home feeling enriched and peaceful.  Tonight I came home tired and empty.  Howard was furious.  (He wrote his own entry about it.) 

The kids had a great time at the party.  They don’t know how upset their parents were.  There is no gain from us ranting and raving in front of them.  Particularly when it could get back to the people who labored long, hard, and lovingly with the best intentions.  But before bed I snuggled the kids together and we read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  That is a book with a wonderful message and no Santa Claus anywhere.

I have been pondering taking a dance class of some kind. There are a couple obstacles in the way of that taking place, money being one, babysitting being another. So then I ponder exactly why I’m interested in a dance class because if I can identify the need I’m trying to fill I may be able to fill it in a different way. It didn’t take much thought to figure out what a dance class would provide: Focused physical activity and Time away from the kids. Going to the gym used to provide those for me. I don’t at all regret signing over the membership to Howard. He makes such good use of it. I do miss what it used to provide.

I haven’t found a solution to this yet. I’ll just have to make do.