Tightrope
I had a conversation today with a friend who is in the midst of plans for her daughter’s wedding. Very shortly into the conversation it became obvious to me that this friend was being as diplomatic as possible about her future son-in-law, but she really needed to be able to air her concerns. She was extremely fair about it, she told me all the wonderful things about this young man, but she also shared some extremely concerning incidents. Apparently the young man is extremely possessive of his fiancee jealous of time spent with her family, he is inclined to hold grudges, and he has shoved her daughter around “in play”. All of those things are red flags for the development of an abusive relationship. It is possible that these “red flag” qualities will wither and his sterling qualities will grow and they will have a fantastic marriage, but I can see why this mother is concerned.
I admire the choice she has made to express her concerns to her daughter while at the same time expressing support for whatever decisions she makes regarding the relationship. I also admire the efforts this friend is making to build a relationship with this young man despite her concerns about some of his behaviors. In my mind she is perfectly walking the path that will contribute to the best possible outcome. I intend to continue watching this friend closely because someday when my children are grown and are making adult decisions I may be wearing similar shoes.