Taking kids to the library is on my mental list of “Things Good Mommies Do” so I try to do it regularly. It is almost always a frustrating and engrumpifying trip for me. I have mental standards for appropriate behavior in the library, but it is impossible for me to actually enforce them on both Gleek and Patches simultaneously. And every moment spent enforcing appropriate behavior is not spent selecting materials to take home or checking books out, which is the reason I went to the library anyway. I don’t get to help Kiki or Link select books. I don’t get to select books for myself. In fact I don’t really “select” books at all. I tend to snatch a few picture books from the handiest shelf and hope they have good bedtime stories in them.
Today herded my children through the library only to be rewarded with a Patches tantrum serenading me all the way home. Then upon arrival I needed a simple response from Gleek which she actively avoided giving until I was screaminly furious. Going to the library was a highlight in my childhood. It is supposed to be a good and happy thing. Instead I’m increasingly convinced that family trips to the library are a bad idea and I cringe at the thought of using up child care options for a library trip. Willing child care is always a scarce resource. It makes me want to cry.
Aye. Know that feeling only too well. Sheppard Memorial in Greenville, NC had a children’s library with computers. So we’d check out a set of headphones for each of them and let them play computer games while we browsed. Every 5 minutes or so I’d wander back to the children’s library and check on them. It worked surprisingly well. The tantrums were more about having to come home than anything else.
Sounds like you’ve got your hands full. You’re right, going to the library should be a relaxing event.
Here’s a suggestion – do you know another mother who’s having similar problems? Maybe you could go together and take turns watching each other’s kids (outside) for short periods, giving each of you some time to browse with one or two kids, but not all at one time.
Is there a library that has a supervised play area? You could stay there and use the building blocks and let the kids have the run of the library.;)
Oh well, this to will pass.
When I was little, going to the library was always a treat. It was never forced on us, more often we had to beg for it.
It’s on my list too… but the children’s day at the library here is Wednesday and I am always working so my mother takes Emily instead. Sometimes she even gets books for me 😀
I’m going to give you a couple of suggestions which you are, of course, free to ignore but I think you are right and going to the library should be a treat to be looked forward to. By everyone, you included.
First suggestion is grab a friend or neighbour with children and take them all at once. Let the littlest one go first and pick out two books, then the next and so on up the age ladder. Mom 1 stays with the rest of the kids at a table in the kids section, looking at books for those who have already gotten them or magazines for those who are still waiting their turn. Mom 2 goes with each child and helps with the selection process. Then each Mom gets to go pick out two books and the children have to choose one. The reason for choosing only one is it will keep them busy deciding which one while everyone else picks out books and reading the one they decide not to take home. And if they really can’t decide, you get to be a hero by saying “Okay, you can get them both, just this once.”
This would also work if you can make library day a complete family affair and get Howard to go with you.
As they get older, they will be able to go alone or with an older sibling and you’ll have less worry but this is for now.
Next thought is to take them all, seat them at a table in the children’s section (which in our library can be seen from everywhere) and go with each of the two littlest, letting the other stay with older siblings and then let the older ones go alone and then watch the younger ones while you get your books. Inherent in this taking turns method is that any ruckus at all and the one who caused it forfeits their turn until next week.
You don’t have to let go of your standards of library behavior but you might take a look at them. Are they unrealistically high for the current ages of the children? Also it may help you to remember that, for the most part, it will all be the same in 100 years and don’t stress too much about it.
Oh Yeah
You and my wife are on exactly the same wavelength. We only have one very little one, but he can be quite a handful and his older brothers use Mom’s inattention to engage in less than proper library behavior.
One solution for us is to not take the whole crew at once. I, like Howard, work frequently from home. When I go to the library I frequently take one or two of the boys along. I’ve been known to take the whole crew, but they usually don’t give me as much grief. It may also be that I have a higher tolerance for less than perfect library conduct.
So my suggestion is to take Howard along, or leave one or two (probably of the younger two) behind so that you can have a more positive experience.
Just a thought.
This only works if the library has it-but is there a story hour when you could bring them? Then maybe some of the kids at least would be interested enough in the story being read that they would sit and listen while you could browse?
Willing child care is always a scarce resource. It makes me want to cry.
Amen! Ross and I are looking at movies that we want to go to (dollar theatre style on our new sleeker budget) and we are thinking, how in the world are we going to get out together? No family nearby, a couple of friends but, we don’t want to always be asking them to watch our kids all the time. (and THEY all have family members nearby, so it’s not like we can repay the favor very well.) At least there are a couple of family movies and a few movies that we don’t mind waiting till they are on DVD…
but still, Batman?, war of the worlds?, Fantastic Four? How?…
It makes me want to cry too.
I always loved going to the library, too. Well, maybe not when I was Patches’ age. 🙂
On the bright side, since it’s only the two youngest that are really a problem, it seems likely that they won’t have to get that much older before it gets easier to manage all around. 🙂