Titanic Gleeked
I stuck in a recorded-from-television version of Titanic this afternoon. I had piles of laundry to fold and while I was interested in seeing bits of Titanic again, I was not interested in giving it my full attention. So I happily folded and fast- forwarded my way through to the point where the boat was actually sinking. That was when a screaming tantrum arrived at my back door in the form of Gleek. She and her friend had some sort of falling out and my neighbor had to haul Gleek home by force because the two girls needed to just not be together for awhile. Gleek was in that past-all-reason frantic tantrum stage where she protests absolutely everything including my handing her security blanket to her. On a desperate whim I hit Play on the DVD player. The tantrum stopped cold. Ships breaking in half are far too interesting to let a mere tantrum interfere. Here is the rest of the movie as narrated by Gleek:
“Why is the ship breaking? Why are all the people yelling? Why is the boat falling? Why is the boat going into the water? Why did they climb onto the rail? Are the boy and the girl going to die? Why are all the people yelling in the water? Is the boy dead now? why is she getting on that thing? Why does the boy stay in the water? Why are they talking so much? They are still talking! Why are they shivering? Are all those people in the water dead? Why is she doing that? Why did she drop him in the water? Who is the old lady? I don’t like the old lady, make it go fast. Is the old lady going to jump in the water? Why did she drop that in the water? It was pretty! Can we go back to where the boy is alive? OH there he is! Are they getting married now?
Needless to say Gleek missed most of the drama and romance of the movie Titanic. It was nearly incomprehensible to her. I can’t say I’m sorry. The last thing I want is for either of my girls to latch on to Titanic as some sort of romantic ideal. (Why is it that when Old Rose dies she has a romantic reunion with Jack whom she knew for less than a week instead of with the man with whom she married, raised children, and spent her life?) At least now I can hand off or pitch the low quality DVD. I’ve no desire to watch it again.