Well, I’ve survived my first encounter with a youth soccer game. I have to admit that there were good things about it. I want so much for Link to have a positive experience because I’m so afraid that he won’t. Link finished the game tired and a little frustrated because he didn’t get to kick the ball much and he didn’t get to score a goal. I was ready to try to encourage and coax and praise when I realized that Link needs the same treatment I’ve been trying to provide for Kiki. If Link has a lousy soccer game and decides to hate soccer, then I need to let him feel that way. Trying to talk someone out of feeling upset is never very successful, all you can do is explain in detail why they shouldn’t feel the way that they are feeling. Then they feel dumb as well as upset.
Link’s frustrations were mild. I think by the time soccer practice rolls around he’ll be ready to play again. Time will tell if this interest will last or whether he’ll decide that he’d rather do something else.
My job as a parent is not to make sure he has a good experience. My job is to help him deal with whatever experience he has.
I’m not sure if he’s patient enough to understand and accept it – at eight years old, it probably depends a lot on his particular temperament – but with sixty minutes in a soccer game, fifteen kids on a team, and maybe two or three goals scored in a game, any individual kid probably isn’t going to touch the ball much. On the one hand, it’s part of the way soccer – and many team sports – works. On the other hand, it’s a perfectly valid reason to dislike the sport, and want to play something that’s more constantly involved. (Baseball’s a lot like that. Football, less so, once one realizes that being the guy with the ball isn’t the only important part to the game.)
But maybe something like tennis would be more his speed? I remember enjoying it far more than baseball or soccer at that age, cause I wasn’t waiting around for something to happen for most of the game.