Day: April 20, 2006

Well, the fairy houses came out quite well. The greenery will look wilted and dry in short order, but the structures are sound enough that new greenery can be supplied whenever the kids are in the mood. I may need to make one for Patches too. Although I suspect any “fairy house” I make for him will be more likely to be populated by cars and vehicles than by winged people. Kiki’s fairy house sports a peaked roof, a clothes line, and a “for sale” sign. Apparently her fairies are moving soon. Gleeks fairy house has a flat roof, a single stick for a “door”, and a nest bed inside made of grass clippings. Gleek clipped the grass herself with a pair of scissors. Cutting grass was facinating for both Gleek and Patches. They sat there snipping away for 30 minutes or more. I had visions of them snipping the whole lawn short. But somehow I don’t think “even” is something they could manage and they simply don’t have the persistence to do it all. More is the pity.

When the evening grew too dark and cold for fairy houses, Kiki and her friend started hanging around in the kitchen at loose ends. I took the opportunity to grab my brand new game called “The queen’s necklace” by Days Of Wonder. This game arrived just this morning in a package from the wonderful Hawklady. The three of us sat down and became gem merchants trying to out sell each other. I’d never played the game before and so we were all learning together. Unfortunately at 33 I absorbed the rules and strategies a lot more quickly than the girls did. I walloped them. I hadn’t played the game enough to know how not to win. Yes I throw games in favor of my kids sometimes. It is more important to me that gaming be a fun experience than that it be challenging. The next time I play, I’ll be in teaching mode where I’ll discuss strategies with the girls. I’ll help them quickly come up to speed on how to play the game. Once I’ve done that, no holds are barred and I can play full out. We’ve reached that stage with other games like Star Munchkin and half the time the kids beat me.

Right now the girls are watching Phantom of the Opera. Niether girl had seen it before. At first I sat down with them, but I discovered that with an expert sitting right there, they were constantly asking questions about motivations and other more random things. Most of what they asked would get answered later and was supposed to be a mystery. I decided to find something else to do and let them muddle through by themselves. Judging from the reactions I’m hearing, they’re doing fine and enjoying the movie.

Next I get to make them go to bed. Whee.

Eleven years old is still young enough to hear the siren call of pretend play, but it is also old enough that kids question whether they should heed that call. Eleven is an in between age. In Bedknobs and Broomsticks it is called “the age of not believing” and a whole song is devoted to the topic. For me at age Eleven all pretend play came abruptly to an end when I tried to involve a friend in an imagined game and she told me it was stupid. Never after that was I able to pretend unselfconsciously. I lamented the lost ability to pretend so well that I could truly see and believe what I imagined. After age 11, I fed my desire to pretend by writing stories, which was a socially acceptable way to live in imaginary worlds. As an adult I’ve come to learn of SCA and Larping and conventions which all provide formats for adults to play in worlds of their own creation. (This phenomenon is wonderfully chronicled in the song Rich Fantasy Lives on an album sung by Rob Balder, writer of the webcomic Partially Clips.)

Kiki turns Eleven this year. I’ve noticed her reluctance to play pretend games. With her siblings and younger friends she can seamlessly fall into imaginary play. With her peers it is much harder. The girls will look at each other and be interested in playing, but they fear being ridiculed. To pretend is risky in a world where today’s friends become tomorrow’s enemies. I’ve made a fortunate discovery though. Given the right structure, 11 year olds can still play pretend. I give them a box of scraps and sewing supplies and they can create a game about being seamstresses. I give them a cooking project and they can be bakers. The key seems to be providing an activity where they can just slide into pretending while neither of them are paying attention.

Today Kiki’s friend from school came over for a sleep over. This friend is very important to Kiki, but she isn’t sure how to relate without pretending. Formerly all her games have had a strong element of pretend. I decided to provide an activity that would open a door for pretend. So a couple of hours before the friend arrived I gathered Gleek, Patches, and Kiki. We went outside to build fairy houses in one of my flowerbeds. Fortunately my yard yeilds a plentiful supply of sticks and dead weeds from last year. We also had a plentiful supply of honeysuckle vine from yesterday’s project. I built a house for Gleek and then helped Kiki with the structure of her house. Just as the roof was built, Kiki’s friend arrived. Now they are out there happily furnishing and building rock paths. I don’t know if they’ll pretend, but it’s kind of hard to not use your imagination when you’re building a house for a fairy out of yard trash.