Eleven years old is still young enough to hear the siren call of pretend play, but it is also old enough that kids question whether they should heed that call. Eleven is an in between age. In Bedknobs and Broomsticks it is called “the age of not believing” and a whole song is devoted to the topic. For me at age Eleven all pretend play came abruptly to an end when I tried to involve a friend in an imagined game and she told me it was stupid. Never after that was I able to pretend unselfconsciously. I lamented the lost ability to pretend so well that I could truly see and believe what I imagined. After age 11, I fed my desire to pretend by writing stories, which was a socially acceptable way to live in imaginary worlds. As an adult I’ve come to learn of SCA and Larping and conventions which all provide formats for adults to play in worlds of their own creation. (This phenomenon is wonderfully chronicled in the song Rich Fantasy Lives on an album sung by Rob Balder, writer of the webcomic Partially Clips.)
Kiki turns Eleven this year. I’ve noticed her reluctance to play pretend games. With her siblings and younger friends she can seamlessly fall into imaginary play. With her peers it is much harder. The girls will look at each other and be interested in playing, but they fear being ridiculed. To pretend is risky in a world where today’s friends become tomorrow’s enemies. I’ve made a fortunate discovery though. Given the right structure, 11 year olds can still play pretend. I give them a box of scraps and sewing supplies and they can create a game about being seamstresses. I give them a cooking project and they can be bakers. The key seems to be providing an activity where they can just slide into pretending while neither of them are paying attention.
Today Kiki’s friend from school came over for a sleep over. This friend is very important to Kiki, but she isn’t sure how to relate without pretending. Formerly all her games have had a strong element of pretend. I decided to provide an activity that would open a door for pretend. So a couple of hours before the friend arrived I gathered Gleek, Patches, and Kiki. We went outside to build fairy houses in one of my flowerbeds. Fortunately my yard yeilds a plentiful supply of sticks and dead weeds from last year. We also had a plentiful supply of honeysuckle vine from yesterday’s project. I built a house for Gleek and then helped Kiki with the structure of her house. Just as the roof was built, Kiki’s friend arrived. Now they are out there happily furnishing and building rock paths. I don’t know if they’ll pretend, but it’s kind of hard to not use your imagination when you’re building a house for a fairy out of yard trash.
Alternatively, you could run a boffer LARP for all of the 11 year olds. I’m sure they’d do great hitting eachother with foam swords and defending the town and such.
…
Maybe in seven or eight years.
Alternatively, you could run a boffer LARP for all of the 11 year olds. I’m sure they’d do great hitting eachother with foam swords and defending the town and such.
…
Maybe in seven or eight years.
That is one of the reasons I am very glad that I bought the D&D beginners boxed set for my 10th birthday.
That is one of the reasons I am very glad that I bought the D&D beginners boxed set for my 10th birthday.
My cousin Brad sent me the first edition DMG and PHB for my 11th birthday.
Vorn
My cousin Brad sent me the first edition DMG and PHB for my 11th birthday.
Vorn
Fairy houses…
Fairy houses… sweet, can none of you see how BRILLIANT this woman is?
I would have looked at the problem and said “eh, we’ll let ’em pick a movie.”
FAIRY HOUSES.
Wow.
Fairy houses…
Fairy houses… sweet, can none of you see how BRILLIANT this woman is?
I would have looked at the problem and said “eh, we’ll let ’em pick a movie.”
FAIRY HOUSES.
Wow.
Sandra, I’ve said it before (maybe not to you, but definitely to David), so I’ll say it again..
You rock my socks!
I really genuinely hope that if/when I become a mom myself that I can do it with half as many smarts as you.
=)
Sandra, I’ve said it before (maybe not to you, but definitely to David), so I’ll say it again..
You rock my socks!
I really genuinely hope that if/when I become a mom myself that I can do it with half as many smarts as you.
=)
Re: Fairy houses…
Shh! Now you’re making me blush.
Re: Fairy houses…
Shh! Now you’re making me blush.
Do you suppose you could post a picture of the fairy houses? I’m having a hard time picturing what they look like.
Do you suppose you could post a picture of the fairy houses? I’m having a hard time picturing what they look like.
I’d love to. Unfortunately Howard took the camera to a convention. He’ll be back on Sunday. I’ll see if I can’t get the girls to redecorate the houses with greenery on Monday so we can take pictures.
I’d love to. Unfortunately Howard took the camera to a convention. He’ll be back on Sunday. I’ll see if I can’t get the girls to redecorate the houses with greenery on Monday so we can take pictures.