In The Fellowship of the Ring Bilbo Baggins talks about feeling stretched or faded like butter that has been spread across too much bread. I know that feeling. I have four kids. Each of those kids has a whole loaf’s worth of wants and needs. It is the best I can do to cover the critical pieces. No matter how thin I spread myself I cannot butter all that bread. I cannot meet all the needs that my children have. This is why it takes a village to raise a child. I have to rely on friends, parents of friends, teachers, neighbors, and acquaintances to all help meet the needs of these developing people.
But oh how I wish there was more of me to go around. I wish I had more time/energy/desire to read stories to kids. I wish I could always be kind and cheerful while requiring chores. I wish I could spend time playing the piano with Gleek. I wish I could concentrate on helping Patches master potty training. I wish I could sit for 30 minutes each night and listend to Link reading aloud. I wish I could spend more time playing games with the kids. I wish I could always keep the kitchen clean. I wish I could be better at cooking healthy meals. I wish I could be better at controling all our diets. I wish I was smarter, better, faster, stronger.
It hurts to see things that they need which I can’t supply.
Sigh. I feel that way, too. And I only have two children.
Sigh. I feel that way, too. And I only have two children.
The fact that you care that you can’t meet all of their needs shows that you are a better parent then most I know, including mine.
The fact that you care that you can’t meet all of their needs shows that you are a better parent then most I know, including mine.
I think every mom feels this way – I know I certainly do.
I think every mom feels this way – I know I certainly do.
Thank you for writing this. I was thinking I was the only parent who felt this way. I needed to hear that others feel this too.
Thank you for writing this. I was thinking I was the only parent who felt this way. I needed to hear that others feel this too.
My turn to say that things are better than they could be… 🙂 you could have Chronic Fatigue and not be able to do a fifth of what you are doing now.
No matter what your circumstances as a mom, we ALWAYS wish we could be the perfect mom and do everything. We just have to accept what we can do and make sure we are doing those things to the best of our ability.
We can only humanly juggle so many things, right?
My turn to say that things are better than they could be… 🙂 you could have Chronic Fatigue and not be able to do a fifth of what you are doing now.
No matter what your circumstances as a mom, we ALWAYS wish we could be the perfect mom and do everything. We just have to accept what we can do and make sure we are doing those things to the best of our ability.
We can only humanly juggle so many things, right?
Most of my thoughts running off of this belong in my own journal since they are tangent but at least one belongs here too.
When I read your entry, I had an “a-ha!” moment. That’s why I am having so much trouble… it takes a village and I don’t have one. The only people who are actively helping me are my mother, Emily’s teachers (note:not Elizabeth’s) and 80s. Most of the rest of the people who should make up my village are working against me.
Most of my thoughts running off of this belong in my own journal since they are tangent but at least one belongs here too.
When I read your entry, I had an “a-ha!” moment. That’s why I am having so much trouble… it takes a village and I don’t have one. The only people who are actively helping me are my mother, Emily’s teachers (note:not Elizabeth’s) and 80s. Most of the rest of the people who should make up my village are working against me.
That makes your job worlds more difficult and explains why things have gotten so bad with this particular child. It is not that she is particularly difficult or that you are a bad parent, your authority has been consistently undercut. Is there any chance that you can make the family of Elizabeth’s friend into your friends as well? (From your description of the situation, probably not, but it would be such a nice solution if it would work because then they’d be more willing to uphold your authority.)
That makes your job worlds more difficult and explains why things have gotten so bad with this particular child. It is not that she is particularly difficult or that you are a bad parent, your authority has been consistently undercut. Is there any chance that you can make the family of Elizabeth’s friend into your friends as well? (From your description of the situation, probably not, but it would be such a nice solution if it would work because then they’d be more willing to uphold your authority.)
Half the problem is that the parents of her friends do things like let her spend the night on a school night even when they have heard me telling her that she is not allowed. They just don’t want to be bothered.. with mine, theirs or anyone else’s children.
Half the problem is that the parents of her friends do things like let her spend the night on a school night even when they have heard me telling her that she is not allowed. They just don’t want to be bothered.. with mine, theirs or anyone else’s children.