Change of plans
Howard and I spent all morning pretending that we weren’t watching out the front window for a truck full of books to arrive. About 2 pm we finally were able to contact the shipping company and we learned that the books would be arriving in Salt Lake City on Thursday. We won’t be able to get our hands on them until 8 am Friday morning. That was the point at which I had a break down. Howard switched into full problem solving mode and was spinning plans for making things work. It was all I could do not to scream with rage or dissolve into tears.
Sometimes when the winds of stress hit us, we need to be oaks. We need to stand strong so that we can do what needs to be done. The disadvantage is that when oaks snap, they are permanently broken. That is why it is important to sometimes respond to stress as a reed does to a strong wind. The reed bends flat to the ground, but then is able to stand up tall again when the wind stops. To survive the past week I’ve had to employ both strategies.
This afternoon I was flatened to the ground. I felt completely broken. I’ve been trying to hold strong for so long, to carry everything. I felt like a shattered oak. Turns out I was a reed. I was flattened an muddy, but here I am standing up again. Here I am with all the new plans in place. I’m optimistic again and I’m looking forward to tomorrow. We’ll be putting labels on mailers in preparation for books. Then on Friday I’ll spend a physically exhausting day moving books. The book moving will be followed by mailer stuffing. Then Saturday will be the Book Release Party. I’ve finally reached the part where I can be doing things. I hit bottom and I’m headed back up.
Up is good.