Another gift of last weekend’s family reunion were some insights into my children their personalities and behaviors.
Kiki left the reunion early to attend a 5 day educational camp, so I didn’t expect to learn about her. However watching the two female cousins who bracket her in age and how those cousins interacted with their mothers taught me a lot about typical pre-teen behaviors. It was so nice to see my 12 year old niece whining at her mother over hairbrushing, because I’ve had the exact same arguement with Kiki more than once. In particular I noticed a tendency for these pre-teen girls to try to make anything that doesn’t go exactly right into the mother’s fault. So when today Kiki tried to tell me that it was my fault that she still struggles with typing because I should have made her learn it two years ago, I was able to identify it as normal pre-teen behavior and keep my cool. Kiki didn’t much like my counter argument that I was forcing her to do it now so that in two years we won’t be having this same conversation. She may not like it, but she will be practicing typing this summer. And I will be keeping my cool because I’ll be able to recognize pre-teen behaviors instead of being baffled by the changes in my daughter.
My insight into Link came in one of the moments I was ducking responsibility. Other adults were in the kitchen busily chopping food for a dutch oven cookout, I wandered out back to where Link was jumping on the trampoline. I watched him for a moment, thought about my resolution to swim through life rather than just wading, then I climbed on the trampoline to jump with him. Link was delighted. We spent some time jumping and then we just sat together on the trampoline. Link grinned at me and snuggled into my lap. I asked what he was enjoying about the reunion and my boy of the monosyllabic replies began to babble to me about all the things he’d enjoyed. Among other things he told about making his box car for the derby using spraypaint. He informed me that it wasn’t a car at all, it was a tank. The paper plates that I’d assumed were poorly placed wheels, were in fact armor. The single cup on the front was not a cyclops headlight, but a cannon. None of this information had been told to anyone before, not even when Link was asked on camera to describe his car before the races began. I think the sum total of his on-camera description was “This is my car. I made it.” Link’s head is full of amazing thoughts and ideas, but he needs a quiet space and a calm moment for those thoughts to shape themselves into words. I need to create more quiet moments to talk to him.
Gleek is a strong willed person. I’ve known this ever since she was first able to run away from me. Lately this has manifested in refusing to obey instructions until I’ve repeated them mutiple times, repeated them angrily multiple times, and finally begin moving to bodily apply consequences and require compliance. I had a conversation with several siblings about the pattern which resulted in me deciding that I need to skip some of those steps. I need to request once or twice then move directly to applying consequences. Gleek loves the trampoline at my brother’s house. She never wants to get off of it. With 11 kids around, turn taking was a must, but Gleek steadfastly refused to exit the trampoline. I was inside the house and someone came to appeal to me to make Gleek behave. I figured she’d already been asked nicely, so I didn’t say anything at all. I was going to simply climb onto the trampoline and remove her to the house where we would discuss being obedient to house rules. Unfortunately I tripped climbing on the trampoline and ended up with one leg down through the springs. I persevered though and as soon as the pain lessened enough to let me know I was only bruised not broken, I grabbed a wide-eyed appologetic Gleek and carried her into the house. This event made a distinct impression on Gleek. Thereafter I only had to walk towards her looking intent and she would hop right off that trampoline. She wouldn’t do it for anyone else though, just me, although threats of fetching me did seem to have some effect. With Gleek limits need to simply be limits, not starting points for negotiation.
During the course of the reunion I realized that Patches does not like crowds. He was fine the first couple of days, but by the third day he’d reached a sort of overload. He wanted a quiet place to play by himself and there were simply none available. Unfortunately I didn’t recognize the extra crankiness and clinginess for what they were until we had a complete breakdown. The tantrum began at a picnic dinner, continued through the ride home, paused when he fell asleep on a couch, then started up again after 20 minutes of sleep. Patches was very very angry with me. When he woke crying, I went to see what was wrong, and the first thing he did was try to hit me. This is completely atypical behavior for easy going Patches. Fortunately he wound down enough that a judicious application of ice cream resolved the tantrum. I was very careful for the rest of the reunion to make sure that Patches got quiet time when he needed it. I watched and he definitely avoided the crowds whenever possible. When he couldn’t avoid the crowds he was much crankier than usual. This is an important personality trait for me to understand about him and I’m glad to know it.
A potential suggestion for the typing. It may not work with Kiki, but I learned how to type by playing the old infocom interactive fictions. Back when I was first learning to read, a family friend let me use his computer to play Zork One and Enchanter. I quickly developed a fairly accurate touch typing method (though it isn’t the formalized one most people are taught if they are taught to type at all.) They also taught me a lot of puzzle solving skills and how to spell. (Well, okay, I still can’t spell, but I can spell almost every word used in those two games.)
There are a lot of interactive fiction games out there, some new most old, and they are generally free.
A warning, if Kiki is prone to quick frustration Zork and Enchanter aren’t at all the games to start with. Zork is really neat and full of whimsical bits, but for a kid who will get frustrated not knowing the solution to a puzzle quickly, Wishbringer is a much better game for beginners. Moonmist is another Infocom game that was developed for younger and beginning players, a sort of treasure hunt/whodoneit.
Popcap Games has a typing game that is fairly fun and that tries to teach actual proper typing.
Don’t let your kids learn Basic while they are still learning English Writing. I still have problems remembering not to use nested parentheses.
A potential suggestion for the typing. It may not work with Kiki, but I learned how to type by playing the old infocom interactive fictions. Back when I was first learning to read, a family friend let me use his computer to play Zork One and Enchanter. I quickly developed a fairly accurate touch typing method (though it isn’t the formalized one most people are taught if they are taught to type at all.) They also taught me a lot of puzzle solving skills and how to spell. (Well, okay, I still can’t spell, but I can spell almost every word used in those two games.)
There are a lot of interactive fiction games out there, some new most old, and they are generally free.
A warning, if Kiki is prone to quick frustration Zork and Enchanter aren’t at all the games to start with. Zork is really neat and full of whimsical bits, but for a kid who will get frustrated not knowing the solution to a puzzle quickly, Wishbringer is a much better game for beginners. Moonmist is another Infocom game that was developed for younger and beginning players, a sort of treasure hunt/whodoneit.
Popcap Games has a typing game that is fairly fun and that tries to teach actual proper typing.
Don’t let your kids learn Basic while they are still learning English Writing. I still have problems remembering not to use nested parentheses.
>However watching the two female cousins who bracket her in age and how those cousins interacted with their mothers taught me a lot about typical pre-teen behaviors. It was so nice to see my 12 year old niece whining at her mother over hairbrushing, because I’ve had the exact same arguement with Kiki more than once.
Hee hee. I take secret delight in watching other people’s children have tantrums, because it means that mine is normal.
>Lately this has manifested in refusing to obey instructions until I’ve repeated them mutiple times, repeated them angrily multiple times, and finally begin moving to bodily apply consequences and require compliance.
Sigh. You mean in two years, Alex will probably still be playing that game? I think I’ll follow your example and start cutting the middle steps out of the pattern. As an additional benefit, applying consequences will be much easier if I haven’t already worked myself up through the various strata of ‘angry’.
>However watching the two female cousins who bracket her in age and how those cousins interacted with their mothers taught me a lot about typical pre-teen behaviors. It was so nice to see my 12 year old niece whining at her mother over hairbrushing, because I’ve had the exact same arguement with Kiki more than once.
Hee hee. I take secret delight in watching other people’s children have tantrums, because it means that mine is normal.
>Lately this has manifested in refusing to obey instructions until I’ve repeated them mutiple times, repeated them angrily multiple times, and finally begin moving to bodily apply consequences and require compliance.
Sigh. You mean in two years, Alex will probably still be playing that game? I think I’ll follow your example and start cutting the middle steps out of the pattern. As an additional benefit, applying consequences will be much easier if I haven’t already worked myself up through the various strata of ‘angry’.
>Hee hee. I take secret delight in watching other people’s children have tantrums, because it means that mine is normal.
Bingo!
>Sigh. You mean in two years, Alex will probably still be playing that game? I think I’ll follow your example and start cutting the middle steps out of the pattern. As an additional benefit, applying consequences will be much easier if I haven’t already worked myself up through the various strata of ‘angry’.
Exactly. Gleek goes through phases where this game is passe and others where she successfully uses it to drive me nuts.
>Hee hee. I take secret delight in watching other people’s children have tantrums, because it means that mine is normal.
Bingo!
>Sigh. You mean in two years, Alex will probably still be playing that game? I think I’ll follow your example and start cutting the middle steps out of the pattern. As an additional benefit, applying consequences will be much easier if I haven’t already worked myself up through the various strata of ‘angry’.
Exactly. Gleek goes through phases where this game is passe and others where she successfully uses it to drive me nuts.
There’s actually a modern scene for making text adventures; the best place to start is at Baf’s Guide http://wurb.com/if/
There’s actually a modern scene for making text adventures; the best place to start is at Baf’s Guide http://wurb.com/if/
Yeah, I just downloaded Inform 7. I haven’t installed it yet, but natural language IF programming? There goes my free time.
Yeah, I just downloaded Inform 7. I haven’t installed it yet, but natural language IF programming? There goes my free time.
If you haven’t read the delightfully well written Care of your introvert you’ll enjoy it.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
Luckily, Patches is probably a lot more comfortable with flock of kids than the average introvert. If he manages to get a little time off regularly, he might have a pretty easy time with the crowd.
If you haven’t read the delightfully well written Care of your introvert you’ll enjoy it.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
Luckily, Patches is probably a lot more comfortable with flock of kids than the average introvert. If he manages to get a little time off regularly, he might have a pretty easy time with the crowd.
Quiet Time
I think your approach with Patches is right on. I’ve disliked crowds, even if they consist of people I like individually, all my life. My mother noticed, just as you did. She never forced me to be around people. I was allowed to “hide” as needed, never mind advice from people who said I was just shy and should be forced to participate. If she hadn’t done that I’d probably be less likely to risk groups of people and maybe feel trapped rather than just go somewhere quiet. Thanks to her I can go to the movies and science fiction conventions, things I truly enjoy. Never mind that I still have to hide afterwards. Have to remember to thank her next time we talk.
Quiet Time
I think your approach with Patches is right on. I’ve disliked crowds, even if they consist of people I like individually, all my life. My mother noticed, just as you did. She never forced me to be around people. I was allowed to “hide” as needed, never mind advice from people who said I was just shy and should be forced to participate. If she hadn’t done that I’d probably be less likely to risk groups of people and maybe feel trapped rather than just go somewhere quiet. Thanks to her I can go to the movies and science fiction conventions, things I truly enjoy. Never mind that I still have to hide afterwards. Have to remember to thank her next time we talk.
Thanks
That was well done, thank you!
Thanks
That was well done, thank you!
I’ve been touch-typing perfectly fine for years and I still play Typer Shark, for fun! 8) I think higher levels might get frustrating, though.
I’m a big advocate of learning letters in alphabetical order or by typing natural words, though. It just makes more sense than doing it by arbitrary rows.
I also feel like I ought to throw in a line about Dvorak. I’ve heard people say that if you learn both simultaneously, you won’t learn either one well; I’ve heard other people say that if you practice both, you can keep both. I haven’t completely learned it yet but I do feel it is a Good Thing for the typing world.
I’ve been touch-typing perfectly fine for years and I still play Typer Shark, for fun! 8) I think higher levels might get frustrating, though.
I’m a big advocate of learning letters in alphabetical order or by typing natural words, though. It just makes more sense than doing it by arbitrary rows.
I also feel like I ought to throw in a line about Dvorak. I’ve heard people say that if you learn both simultaneously, you won’t learn either one well; I’ve heard other people say that if you practice both, you can keep both. I haven’t completely learned it yet but I do feel it is a Good Thing for the typing world.
Hear, hear, hear!
Hear, hear, hear!
I feel a bit silly having already posted two comments here without having been to your journal before–I got here over‘s shoulder, for what that’s worth–but I had one last thing:
Parents who pay honest attention to their kids give me a little bit more hope for the world. Are you familiar with TCS?
I feel a bit silly having already posted two comments here without having been to your journal before–I got here over‘s shoulder, for what that’s worth–but I had one last thing:
Parents who pay honest attention to their kids give me a little bit more hope for the world. Are you familiar with TCS?
Learning to type was the best gift my mother ever gave me – she had been a secretary before I was born, and was an English teacher since I was around age 6. When I hit 7th grade and had to do papers for school, mom gave me her old junky word processor and told me that whatever I did, I *always* had to put my fingers in the right places. She never made me do typing exercises or anything, just said to put my fingers where they belonged. It was really slow for me to type that way at first, much slower than two finger hunt’n’peck, but I was a rational sort and saw how fast my mom typed, so I kept with it. Today I do something like 90 wpm.
Learning to type was the best gift my mother ever gave me – she had been a secretary before I was born, and was an English teacher since I was around age 6. When I hit 7th grade and had to do papers for school, mom gave me her old junky word processor and told me that whatever I did, I *always* had to put my fingers in the right places. She never made me do typing exercises or anything, just said to put my fingers where they belonged. It was really slow for me to type that way at first, much slower than two finger hunt’n’peck, but I was a rational sort and saw how fast my mom typed, so I kept with it. Today I do something like 90 wpm.
Good suggestions. I’ll look into it.
Good suggestions. I’ll look into it.
Howard is a Dvorak typer. I’m not because I’m too lazy to spend the time to relearn. Kiki is learning typing in school, so she’s going to need to stick to qwerty right now. But if she becomes interested later we can get her the resources she needs.
Howard is a Dvorak typer. I’m not because I’m too lazy to spend the time to relearn. Kiki is learning typing in school, so she’s going to need to stick to qwerty right now. But if she becomes interested later we can get her the resources she needs.
My typing isn’t as efficient as it could be and thus a little slower than it probably would have been had I been trained properly. I personally would suggest a mix of some sort of typing instructor program and interactive fiction (which assumes that Kiki is a big reader like I was.)
My typing isn’t as efficient as it could be and thus a little slower than it probably would have been had I been trained properly. I personally would suggest a mix of some sort of typing instructor program and interactive fiction (which assumes that Kiki is a big reader like I was.)
I’m not familiar with that particular site, but I have had a small introduction to the philosophies of homeschooling and unschooling. I can definitely be in favor of parents caring for their kids even if their choices diverge from my own.
I’m not familiar with that particular site, but I have had a small introduction to the philosophies of homeschooling and unschooling. I can definitely be in favor of parents caring for their kids even if their choices diverge from my own.
Learning Typing
I strongly agree with this. I got introduced to computers (and fell in love with programming them) when I was 11. I didn’t get into my first typing class until I was 14. I learned horrible habits: I could hunt and peck faster than the teacher said we’d be able to type by the end of the year.
For Kiki? Find something involving writing that she loves, that the computer can be the vehicle for. Presto, instant typing practice.
One tip I picked up while trying to learn Dvorak: take an old keyboard and sand all the labels off with a Dremel tool. Now it’s impossible to peek. (I can provide a Dremel tool and/or a pre-sanded keyboard if you like.) 🙂
Learning Typing
I strongly agree with this. I got introduced to computers (and fell in love with programming them) when I was 11. I didn’t get into my first typing class until I was 14. I learned horrible habits: I could hunt and peck faster than the teacher said we’d be able to type by the end of the year.
For Kiki? Find something involving writing that she loves, that the computer can be the vehicle for. Presto, instant typing practice.
One tip I picked up while trying to learn Dvorak: take an old keyboard and sand all the labels off with a Dremel tool. Now it’s impossible to peek. (I can provide a Dremel tool and/or a pre-sanded keyboard if you like.) 🙂