I’ve been approaching Gleek’s Kindergarten adjustment backwards. Every day I keep asking the teacher “How’d she do?” and I get a tale of the most difficult parts of Gleek’s day. Then I’d discuss those with Gleek. With so much focus on the negative, no wonder Gleek isn’t sure she likes Kindergarten.
I need to be asking the teacher “What did she do really well today?” and dismissing tales of misbehavior with a “we’ll try to do better tomorrow.”
I also need to be making sure that the hour after kindergarten is over is a quiet time. Patches can lay in his bed looking at books while Gleek reads to me and I read to her and we talk about happy things. I did this today and Gleek seems calmer, happier, more peaceful this afternoon. For the first time since kindergarten began she isn’t frantically seeking a friend to play with.
Brilliant! I love those “a-ha” moments! Great job!
Brilliant! I love those “a-ha” moments! Great job!
Would the ‘sandwich’ approach work? Discuss the high points, a low point and how to address it, and then another high point to end the conversation?
Would the ‘sandwich’ approach work? Discuss the high points, a low point and how to address it, and then another high point to end the conversation?
And then make a sandwich and eat it. I’m only half joking.
And then make a sandwich and eat it. I’m only half joking.
I just got out of a 2 day class on communications. One thing mentioned that when she was training new salespersons, when they focused and commented only on the positive performances during mock sales calls, the salespersons performed much better when they went into the field than when they included the negative and positive remarks.
I just got out of a 2 day class on communications. One thing mentioned that when she was training new salespersons, when they focused and commented only on the positive performances during mock sales calls, the salespersons performed much better when they went into the field than when they included the negative and positive remarks.
The most amazing part of this whole post is that you can get Patches to lay in his bed and look at a book.
The most amazing part of this whole post is that you can get Patches to lay in his bed and look at a book.
I’m a little disturbed that the teacher automatically tells you what she did wrong all day. That doesn’t seem like a really positive teaching environment. And surely she’s not the only kid acting up. Kindergarten is a tough year – kids aren’t used to the structure of school.
Meh. I think you’ve figured out a great new approach. If the teacher keeps focusing on the negative, it might be time to talk to the teacher about taking a different approach too.
I’m a little disturbed that the teacher automatically tells you what she did wrong all day. That doesn’t seem like a really positive teaching environment. And surely she’s not the only kid acting up. Kindergarten is a tough year – kids aren’t used to the structure of school.
Meh. I think you’ve figured out a great new approach. If the teacher keeps focusing on the negative, it might be time to talk to the teacher about taking a different approach too.
It wasn’t the teacher focused on the negative. It was me. The teacher would say “She had a rough day,” then I would probe for all the details of what Gleek did wrong. Over the course of a week I trained the teacher that I WANTED to hear the worst stuff. I need to retrain myself and I’m sure that this teacher will happily follow my lead.
It wasn’t the teacher focused on the negative. It was me. The teacher would say “She had a rough day,” then I would probe for all the details of what Gleek did wrong. Over the course of a week I trained the teacher that I WANTED to hear the worst stuff. I need to retrain myself and I’m sure that this teacher will happily follow my lead.
Parenting ‘a ha’ moments … cool!
And maybe the talking about happy things can lead to her talking about what made her unhappy that day. You’d mentioned in a previous entry that she was starting to ask a whole new range of questions.
She gets positive reinforcement and fun with the friend, plus assurance she’s not Bad or Stupid or other feelings that the frustrations of kindergarten are contributing to. Your reading and interaction time with her sounds like it is meeting that need … so that when she does seek out a friend, it’s for fun and not with a strong subtext of “I need to not be unhappy”?
Parenting ‘a ha’ moments … cool!
And maybe the talking about happy things can lead to her talking about what made her unhappy that day. You’d mentioned in a previous entry that she was starting to ask a whole new range of questions.
She gets positive reinforcement and fun with the friend, plus assurance she’s not Bad or Stupid or other feelings that the frustrations of kindergarten are contributing to. Your reading and interaction time with her sounds like it is meeting that need … so that when she does seek out a friend, it’s for fun and not with a strong subtext of “I need to not be unhappy”?