Tomorrow morning we will be starting medication for Link. The undiagnosed ADD that we’ve suspected for years has finally been officially diagnosed. For the next few months we’ll be trying various medications to find if any are helpful to him. They may not be, or they may have detrimental side effects, but we’ve come to the decision that the experiment is merited. This has been a long hard road and we are nowhere near the end of it, but medicating is a very significant step which deserves to be chronicled.
I have always felt very opposed to medicating Link. He is a bright, sweet boy with both strengths and weaknesses, but I never felt that there was anything wrong with him. I felt that medicating him would be the cheating way for me or his teacher to get out of the extra work necessary for behavioral modification techniques. I was ready to change his diet and exercise patterns or find other “natural” ways to help him deal with his challenges. I believe that American children are vastly over-medicated and I didn’t want to be part of that. I felt all of that and more until one week ago today.
One week ago today I had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting with Link’s teacher, the school psychologist, the principal, and the resource teacher. They very kindly and gently suggested that I have Link tested for ADD. They also gently advocated in favor of medication if it seems called for. They did not pressure me or try to insist, they just gave me a pile of new information to consider. Part of the information they gave me were the results from several test they did on Link. Those results showed me exactly where Link’s strengths and weaknesses are. The psychologist told me that Link’s pattern of strengths and weaknesses is classic for an ADD child. They also told me that where Link is strong, he is brilliant. Where he is weak he struggles to comprehend things that his classmates understand intuitively.
I came home from that meeting with my brain buzzing. I talked it over with Howard. For the first time we considered the possibility that rather than turning Link into a compliant zombie, medication might instead remove shackles from his legs and allow him to fly.
The thing that really changed my mind and opened me to the idea of trying medication, was the results from an emotional/psychological profile. Those results were created from a survey I filled out where I recorded things I observed about Link’s emotional states. His teacher also filled out the survey. This test showed that Link is not only at risk for things like anxiety, depression, somatization (physical symptoms caused by emotional states,) withdrawal, and social atypicality, he’s already experiencing these things. I don’t think there is anything wrong with Link. Howard doesn’t think there is anything wrong with Link. But our opinions aren’t the ones that truly matter. Link knows that there is something different about him. He sees the differences from his peers and is sure that it means that he is broken or stupid. He knows and feels this, but has no clue how to make things different, so he withdraws and avoids.
Eventually an adult Link might come to the conclusion that there isn’t anything wrong with his brain. That adult Link might become comfortable in his strengths and weaknesses. He’ll have coping mechanisms to manage both. But before he can arrive at that mature view of his capabilities he has to walk the long hard road of puberty. If he continues to avoid and withdraw to the point that he seeks solace in self medication via street drugs or alcohol, he may never arrive at that mature assessment. Link’s weaknesses will interfere with the process of him coming to terms with his weaknesses.
I’ve done lots of talking to people who have first hand experience with ADD this past week. I’ve talked with adults who are managing their ADD. I’ve talked to parents about their experiences with an ADD child. I’ve talked to our doctor, who also happens to be a parent of an ADD child. I’ve talked to the school psychologist, who is another ADD parent. I’ve talked to Link’s teacher. Some information I’ve gleaned:
Most ADD people end up self medicating somehow. It may be caffeine or alcohol or street drugs or pornography or eating, but they administer something to themselves to assist them to focus. Correctly managed self medication can be a good thing. Unconscious self medication can lead to all kinds of dark places.
An adult ADD friend says he doesn’t feel any different when he is taking medication than he does on the days he skips medication. However on medicated days he ends the day with tasks completed and a sense of accomplishment. On unmedicated days he ends the day with many piles of partially complete projects. As an adult he can look at that difference and attributed it to medication or lack thereof. Right now Link has no comparison. He has an endless stream of days filled with failure to complete important tasks. This has to hurt his self image.
Medication can be complimentary to behavioral modification. There will still be times when Link doesn’t have medicine in his system. I can use those times to teach him the coping mechanisms that he will need for life.
ADD medications are fast acting and clear out of the system quickly. This means that I can decide on a daily basis whether to medicate or not. My adult ADD friend does exactly that. On the days he needs focus, he medicates. On the days he needs to multitask he deliberately does not medicate. If I decide to stop the medication, it will be out of Link’s system completely within 12 hours.
The most important conversation I had about ADD was with Link. I talked to him and explained that ADD was a label for how his brain works and that it means he gets distracted easily. He indicated awareness of this tendency. I explained that there was a medicine which might help him to focus and not get distracted as easily. I asked if he would be interested in trying this medicine. He looked at me with wide-eyed hope and answered with an emphatic “yes!”
After all this thinking and talking and research I have realized a very important thing. The only thing that we stand to lose by trying medication is the moral high ground of being able to say “I’ve never medicated my child.” In other words, the only thing I have to lose is my pride. I’ll swallow that whole if it will give Link the chance to grow up healthy, strong, and confident in his own capabilities.
Having ADD that they found when I was an adult one of the few words of wisdom I can give you is this. “the meds can help you learn what normal feels like”
Tim Leary said “there is no where drugs can take you that you cant find other ways, they are Just a short cut.”
ash
Having ADD that they found when I was an adult one of the few words of wisdom I can give you is this. “the meds can help you learn what normal feels like”
Tim Leary said “there is no where drugs can take you that you cant find other ways, they are Just a short cut.”
ash
I love how much thought you put into each of your kids, individually. It’s so important that kids be treated as individuals, and not just “one of the kids.” It’s obvious that you’ve put a lot of thought into this decision, and I wish you the best of luck as you go forward in this. One concern I’d like to raise, although I may be entirely mistaken, is I believe I’ve heard there are possibilities of addiction in certain ADD medications. Again, I could be wrong about that, but it’s a concern that should be raised. You’ve likely already researched this, of course. Either way, good luck. Your kids are lucky to have a mother who cares so much about them.
I love how much thought you put into each of your kids, individually. It’s so important that kids be treated as individuals, and not just “one of the kids.” It’s obvious that you’ve put a lot of thought into this decision, and I wish you the best of luck as you go forward in this. One concern I’d like to raise, although I may be entirely mistaken, is I believe I’ve heard there are possibilities of addiction in certain ADD medications. Again, I could be wrong about that, but it’s a concern that should be raised. You’ve likely already researched this, of course. Either way, good luck. Your kids are lucky to have a mother who cares so much about them.
For the first time we considered the possibility that rather than turning Link into a compliant zombie, medication might instead remove shackles from his legs and allow him to fly.
This is such a true statement! I have an ADD cousin, and many of the thoughts and considerations that you say you’ve made are ones my Aunt and Uncle had to make when Ian was a kid too. For a long time my Aunt was incredibly resistant to medicating and went through all kinds of “witch doctors” to treat (Her term, not mine) the issue.
When she finally decided to try out the recommended med (for Ian it was ridalin), the change was astonishing. He went from average/poor marks to average/excellent marks. He had an easier time of making and keeping friends, and he stopped seeing himself as ‘stupid’. Because of the speed of absorption with his meds, my Aunt only medicated Ian for ‘during school hours’ – he’d take a pill in the morning, and when his next dose was due, it was after school, and she would just hold it off unless he had extracurricular activities he was involved with. Some meds cause decreased appetite, and Ian was such a skinny little guy to begin with, she thought it was better that he be unfocussed but eating than the other way around.
Ian is now an adult. When I think back on his childhood, I don’t remember a zombie child, I remember an active, pesty-little-cousin type – you know, completely normal for someone 8 years younger than me. He graduated from high school, he assessed his options and went into a ridiculously good paying trade, and he has his second child on the way – totally normal responsible young man. The meds didn’t change him, they helped enhance the awesome kid that he is. Like your adult friend, he only medicates when he thinks he needs it – he will medicate for work because of the level of concentration and danger involved, but rarely for anything else.
For what it’s worth, I think you’re making a really smart decision, regardless of the outcome – you’ve listened to valuable input and are willing to keep your mind open about the options in order to give Link the best future possible. That’s the most important part of being a parent. I hope you find the right combination sooner than later, and I’ll keep you in my thoughts!
For the first time we considered the possibility that rather than turning Link into a compliant zombie, medication might instead remove shackles from his legs and allow him to fly.
This is such a true statement! I have an ADD cousin, and many of the thoughts and considerations that you say you’ve made are ones my Aunt and Uncle had to make when Ian was a kid too. For a long time my Aunt was incredibly resistant to medicating and went through all kinds of “witch doctors” to treat (Her term, not mine) the issue.
When she finally decided to try out the recommended med (for Ian it was ridalin), the change was astonishing. He went from average/poor marks to average/excellent marks. He had an easier time of making and keeping friends, and he stopped seeing himself as ‘stupid’. Because of the speed of absorption with his meds, my Aunt only medicated Ian for ‘during school hours’ – he’d take a pill in the morning, and when his next dose was due, it was after school, and she would just hold it off unless he had extracurricular activities he was involved with. Some meds cause decreased appetite, and Ian was such a skinny little guy to begin with, she thought it was better that he be unfocussed but eating than the other way around.
Ian is now an adult. When I think back on his childhood, I don’t remember a zombie child, I remember an active, pesty-little-cousin type – you know, completely normal for someone 8 years younger than me. He graduated from high school, he assessed his options and went into a ridiculously good paying trade, and he has his second child on the way – totally normal responsible young man. The meds didn’t change him, they helped enhance the awesome kid that he is. Like your adult friend, he only medicates when he thinks he needs it – he will medicate for work because of the level of concentration and danger involved, but rarely for anything else.
For what it’s worth, I think you’re making a really smart decision, regardless of the outcome – you’ve listened to valuable input and are willing to keep your mind open about the options in order to give Link the best future possible. That’s the most important part of being a parent. I hope you find the right combination sooner than later, and I’ll keep you in my thoughts!
Most ADD medications are based on amphetimines which can be very addictive. However the research I’ve read says that these drugs affect ADD brains very differently and are not addictive to ADD people.
I have anecdotal support for this:
My adult ADD friend likes to make the joke “If this stuff is so addictive, how come I keep forgetting to take it?”
A parent told me that the effect of medication on her ADD child was to calm the child down and allow her to focus. But on one occasion her non-ADD toddler accidentally ate one of the pills. The medicine made her jittery to the point of incapacity and fractured her concentration rather than focusing it.
Most ADD medications are based on amphetimines which can be very addictive. However the research I’ve read says that these drugs affect ADD brains very differently and are not addictive to ADD people.
I have anecdotal support for this:
My adult ADD friend likes to make the joke “If this stuff is so addictive, how come I keep forgetting to take it?”
A parent told me that the effect of medication on her ADD child was to calm the child down and allow her to focus. But on one occasion her non-ADD toddler accidentally ate one of the pills. The medicine made her jittery to the point of incapacity and fractured her concentration rather than focusing it.
I was diagnosed ADD when I was in, uh, 10th grade, or so. THey put me on ritalin.
It did precisely jack.
After a while I felt that the doctor I was going to was essentially acting as a pill pusher, and stopped.
Then about two years later, my shrink-since-1989 noticed how odd I was about some things and said I might be ADD, and sent me to Dr. Thomas E. Brown (the man himself on ADD) and he said I was borderline ADD.
Then my regular doctor got involved and put me on dexedrine. Which worked… but made me psychotic.
So now here I am, and I take nothing. It sucks sometimes, but it’s the best option I have.
Vorn
I was diagnosed ADD when I was in, uh, 10th grade, or so. THey put me on ritalin.
It did precisely jack.
After a while I felt that the doctor I was going to was essentially acting as a pill pusher, and stopped.
Then about two years later, my shrink-since-1989 noticed how odd I was about some things and said I might be ADD, and sent me to Dr. Thomas E. Brown (the man himself on ADD) and he said I was borderline ADD.
Then my regular doctor got involved and put me on dexedrine. Which worked… but made me psychotic.
So now here I am, and I take nothing. It sucks sometimes, but it’s the best option I have.
Vorn
I can add evidence to this, from a different perspective. Near the end of his battle with cancer, my step-dad complained to hospice that he was just so tired all the time. They prescribed him Ritalin. The rationale was passed along to me that it affects adults differently, giving them energy rather than calming them, but affecting ADD brains differently makes even more sense.
I can add evidence to this, from a different perspective. Near the end of his battle with cancer, my step-dad complained to hospice that he was just so tired all the time. They prescribed him Ritalin. The rationale was passed along to me that it affects adults differently, giving them energy rather than calming them, but affecting ADD brains differently makes even more sense.
For a second, I read that as “made me psychic”, which means something very different.
This should come as no great surprise, but I have ADD (and a slight touch of dyslexia). I was on ritalin for many years, and while indeed you don’t feel different, you do actually get stuff done. I’ve been off it for a decade now, and the INSTANT I get any sort of medical coverage, I’m getting back on it (or something like it). Really, I applaud your decision to at least try medication. The consequences of NOT doing it you can see now. I’m 100% certain that you and Howard will be more than able to keep an eye for any possible side effects.
And ritalin is a derivative of an amphetamine, not one in and of itself… It does, however, have a vastly different affect upon non-ADD minds. It was explained that ADD is often a sort of mental underpowering… That for some things the mind just doesn’t fire HARD enough. The little kick from ritalin helps get it over the edge. Those with “normal” brains (you people think yer so much better… :P) get that boost, and get a good buzz…
So I think you might want to make SURE the other kids done get their hands on those pills.. 🙂 Unless you like kids bouncing off the walls…
For a second, I read that as “made me psychic”, which means something very different.
This should come as no great surprise, but I have ADD (and a slight touch of dyslexia). I was on ritalin for many years, and while indeed you don’t feel different, you do actually get stuff done. I’ve been off it for a decade now, and the INSTANT I get any sort of medical coverage, I’m getting back on it (or something like it). Really, I applaud your decision to at least try medication. The consequences of NOT doing it you can see now. I’m 100% certain that you and Howard will be more than able to keep an eye for any possible side effects.
And ritalin is a derivative of an amphetamine, not one in and of itself… It does, however, have a vastly different affect upon non-ADD minds. It was explained that ADD is often a sort of mental underpowering… That for some things the mind just doesn’t fire HARD enough. The little kick from ritalin helps get it over the edge. Those with “normal” brains (you people think yer so much better… :P) get that boost, and get a good buzz…
So I think you might want to make SURE the other kids done get their hands on those pills.. 🙂 Unless you like kids bouncing off the walls…
My little brother used to have anger management issues and apparently some depression as well, as early as three years old. My parents medicated him for a few years, and I think it really helped out in the crucial period where he needed to learn how better to relate to other people.
I don’t think he’s still on medication at this point (I don’t live with him and the rest of the family anymore, so I’m not sure), but he’s 12 now and better able to understand and address his own reactions to things, at least when he doesn’t get caught up in the moment. He’s such a passionate, fiery kid, and he still overreacts to things on a regular basis, but at this point he understand that he’s overreacting, and he understands enough about his own personality to know how to control himself when he needs to. And the medication was instrumental in bringing things under control so he could develop that ability.
The problem I see with parents medicating their children tends to be one of parents thinking medication is actually a substitute for trying to understand and work with their children to help them handle their emotions better, or focus better, or whatever else the medicine is supposed to address. I have no doubt that you’re not going to go down that road, though, particularly given the huge amount of consideration and agonizing thought you’ve given the problem.
My little brother used to have anger management issues and apparently some depression as well, as early as three years old. My parents medicated him for a few years, and I think it really helped out in the crucial period where he needed to learn how better to relate to other people.
I don’t think he’s still on medication at this point (I don’t live with him and the rest of the family anymore, so I’m not sure), but he’s 12 now and better able to understand and address his own reactions to things, at least when he doesn’t get caught up in the moment. He’s such a passionate, fiery kid, and he still overreacts to things on a regular basis, but at this point he understand that he’s overreacting, and he understands enough about his own personality to know how to control himself when he needs to. And the medication was instrumental in bringing things under control so he could develop that ability.
The problem I see with parents medicating their children tends to be one of parents thinking medication is actually a substitute for trying to understand and work with their children to help them handle their emotions better, or focus better, or whatever else the medicine is supposed to address. I have no doubt that you’re not going to go down that road, though, particularly given the huge amount of consideration and agonizing thought you’ve given the problem.
They tried to put me on that junk, for about a week… My parents were alarmed at the change and made them pull me off. I was a bit of a zombie on them.
My advice? In New Zealand, as described by Reiver, they do much more extensive tests before they determine if someone has ADD or not. In the US, they use psychological methods without any sort of brain-scans or MRIs or anything else. I suspect 50-95% of people diagnosed with ADD in america actually do not have it, or at least the type that you can treat with those drugs.
Ritalin is probably one of the worst. It’s fine for younger kids, but once they start hitting puberty the interaction between the drug and the system make it into very much a narcotic. One person in my high school who was on ritalin the entire time they were a kid and while they went through puberty ended up getting so out of control on ritalin that he went to prison several times and was extremely violent. He was almost entirely fine past a little hyperactivity before the ritalin.
They tried to put me on that junk, for about a week… My parents were alarmed at the change and made them pull me off. I was a bit of a zombie on them.
My advice? In New Zealand, as described by Reiver, they do much more extensive tests before they determine if someone has ADD or not. In the US, they use psychological methods without any sort of brain-scans or MRIs or anything else. I suspect 50-95% of people diagnosed with ADD in america actually do not have it, or at least the type that you can treat with those drugs.
Ritalin is probably one of the worst. It’s fine for younger kids, but once they start hitting puberty the interaction between the drug and the system make it into very much a narcotic. One person in my high school who was on ritalin the entire time they were a kid and while they went through puberty ended up getting so out of control on ritalin that he went to prison several times and was extremely violent. He was almost entirely fine past a little hyperactivity before the ritalin.
I see a lot of concerns being raised over how it will affect Link, but I think it’s a good idea. First off, you and Howard have discussed it and feel good about it, which means that 1.) You’re not jumping into it blindly and 2.) You’re paying attention to any spiritual promptings you may be getting. And secondly, both of you know your children well enough that any side effects will likely be apparent to you. You pay attention to your kids, and you’ll notice a deviation from normal behavior, unlike a lot of parents who simply stick their kids on medication so “they’ll just stop bugging me!”
I see a lot of concerns being raised over how it will affect Link, but I think it’s a good idea. First off, you and Howard have discussed it and feel good about it, which means that 1.) You’re not jumping into it blindly and 2.) You’re paying attention to any spiritual promptings you may be getting. And secondly, both of you know your children well enough that any side effects will likely be apparent to you. You pay attention to your kids, and you’ll notice a deviation from normal behavior, unlike a lot of parents who simply stick their kids on medication so “they’ll just stop bugging me!”
I’m sorry to hear that he has ADD. But if you’re anything like me, isn’t it a relief to have the diagnosis and finally know why things are the way they are?
I was dead set certain for forty years that something was different (yes, and at least partly broken) about me, something that made me not fit in, something that made me not understand people. Now I finally know what it is, and so much that I didn’t understand has become clear. Not that I necessarily understand it now — but I know why I didn’t understand then. In some cases, I bitterly lament what I missed through simply not understanding what was going on. In others, I’m grateful for the compensations. People have always been a mystery to me, a cryptic tome in a language I didn’t know … but on the other hand, I understood relativity well enough when I was 14 to correctly answer upper-sixth-form physics questions off the bat and do Lorentz transformations in my head.
He’s young. We have a lot more clue about treating and adjusting to ADD than we do to Aspergers’. He ought to do just fine.
I’m sorry to hear that he has ADD. But if you’re anything like me, isn’t it a relief to have the diagnosis and finally know why things are the way they are?
I was dead set certain for forty years that something was different (yes, and at least partly broken) about me, something that made me not fit in, something that made me not understand people. Now I finally know what it is, and so much that I didn’t understand has become clear. Not that I necessarily understand it now — but I know why I didn’t understand then. In some cases, I bitterly lament what I missed through simply not understanding what was going on. In others, I’m grateful for the compensations. People have always been a mystery to me, a cryptic tome in a language I didn’t know … but on the other hand, I understood relativity well enough when I was 14 to correctly answer upper-sixth-form physics questions off the bat and do Lorentz transformations in my head.
He’s young. We have a lot more clue about treating and adjusting to ADD than we do to Aspergers’. He ought to do just fine.
Hunter in a Farmer’s World
Just for the record, you’re welcome to name names (at least in my case).
I cannot recommend highly enough the book “Attention Deficit Disorder: A Different Perception (A Hunter in a Farmer’s World)” by Thom Hartmann. It used to be out of print but there now appears to be a new printing of it. Especially in Link’s case of “where he’s strong he’s brilliant”, Hartmann can give you some ammo to quash the whole “ADD means you’re broken” myth. Hallowell and Ratey (co-authors of the ADD bible, Driven to Distraction) reviewed his book and said, “Thom Hartmann demonstrates that ADD can be associated with creativity, high achievement, and a most successful adaptive style.”
I lost my copy years ago, but the reprint is on its way. I’ll drop it by when I’ve reread it. 🙂
The lesson I took from the book is that ADD gives me rare and special strengths and advantages in exchange for difficulty and weakness in areas that are socially preferred. This social preference is the entire source of “wrongness” with ADD: that modern societal values (and especially those of modern educational systems) are misaligned with the ADD mind and skill set.
Hunter in a Farmer’s World
Just for the record, you’re welcome to name names (at least in my case).
I cannot recommend highly enough the book “Attention Deficit Disorder: A Different Perception (A Hunter in a Farmer’s World)” by Thom Hartmann. It used to be out of print but there now appears to be a new printing of it. Especially in Link’s case of “where he’s strong he’s brilliant”, Hartmann can give you some ammo to quash the whole “ADD means you’re broken” myth. Hallowell and Ratey (co-authors of the ADD bible, Driven to Distraction) reviewed his book and said, “Thom Hartmann demonstrates that ADD can be associated with creativity, high achievement, and a most successful adaptive style.”
I lost my copy years ago, but the reprint is on its way. I’ll drop it by when I’ve reread it. 🙂
The lesson I took from the book is that ADD gives me rare and special strengths and advantages in exchange for difficulty and weakness in areas that are socially preferred. This social preference is the entire source of “wrongness” with ADD: that modern societal values (and especially those of modern educational systems) are misaligned with the ADD mind and skill set.
Medication Balancing is Teh Suck
Balancing psychiatric meds for any condition can be difficult and, for lack of a better term, crazy. I tuned and tweaked my ritalin dosage (under the careful supervision of a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD, not just a general practitioner) for over a decade before arriving at the dosage and schedule I’m currently on.
ADD is also a very lonely condition, it almost always shows up with friends. Like depression, OCD, tics, Tourette’s, etc. Being borderline ADD and then presenting psychosis under treatment is probably an indicator of adjacent symptoms. It may be that dexedrine does actually work on your ADD… but it also stimulates the other factors.
At one point in the early days of my ADD treatment, a different doctor pulled me off of Ritalin altogether because I was suffering from acute depression. Not having my “Vitamin R” to keep me on task made things worse in the long run, but in the short term it stopped “whipping a dead horse” and winding up the anxiety/depression cycle. Just long enough for me to get my feet under me again, and I’ve been back on the ritalin ever since.
Anyway, point of all this? I highly recommend to you checking in with a specialist and exploring any adjacent factors that may be present. There is now a whole host of “ADD and” medications available.
It’s rough trying to balance meds, even when they’re right for you. While many medication horror stories are based on genuine issues with chemical side effects, every psychoactive substance is going to make you feel and act differently. Even if a drug works perfectly, it will instigate a change in your coping mechanisms and habits, and that can be some of the most disrupting change a human can face–it changes your own sense of identity.
Also, tales of profoundly negative side-effects tend to get amplified with outrage because doctors often pressure the patient to “stick with it” when the drug is going horribly wrong, because during the first few days of treatment it is almost impossible for the doctor to tell the difference between untenable physiological side effects and the equally distressing psychological difficulty of adjusting to the both the medication and the person you become when you’re on it. My advice here is to find a doctor who knows how to listen. A good doctor will know when to encourage you to tough it out and when to get you in for an immediate medication change.
I’m not saying your side-effect experience was psychological rather than physiological, but even if I were I would say the experience was still valid. (And any psychiatrist worth his lithium salts can tell you exactly why and how there is pretty much no meaningful difference between psychology and psychiatry in the human brain at the emotional level.) I’m just saying that medication balancing is rough, even when it works.
If you know you still have an untreated problem it may be worth it to revisit the issue. Start with a reassessment that includes the knowledge of how you react to ritalin and dexedrine. It sounds like a possible indicator that ADD is a misdiagnosis or at best an obscuring factor to a separate underlying factor.
Anyway, I think I’ve hijacked Sandra’s blog long enough. I felt it was relevant to her thread, but I’ll stop here. 🙂 And remember: I’m not a doctor, but I’ve seen one on TV.
Medication Balancing is Teh Suck
Balancing psychiatric meds for any condition can be difficult and, for lack of a better term, crazy. I tuned and tweaked my ritalin dosage (under the careful supervision of a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD, not just a general practitioner) for over a decade before arriving at the dosage and schedule I’m currently on.
ADD is also a very lonely condition, it almost always shows up with friends. Like depression, OCD, tics, Tourette’s, etc. Being borderline ADD and then presenting psychosis under treatment is probably an indicator of adjacent symptoms. It may be that dexedrine does actually work on your ADD… but it also stimulates the other factors.
At one point in the early days of my ADD treatment, a different doctor pulled me off of Ritalin altogether because I was suffering from acute depression. Not having my “Vitamin R” to keep me on task made things worse in the long run, but in the short term it stopped “whipping a dead horse” and winding up the anxiety/depression cycle. Just long enough for me to get my feet under me again, and I’ve been back on the ritalin ever since.
Anyway, point of all this? I highly recommend to you checking in with a specialist and exploring any adjacent factors that may be present. There is now a whole host of “ADD and” medications available.
It’s rough trying to balance meds, even when they’re right for you. While many medication horror stories are based on genuine issues with chemical side effects, every psychoactive substance is going to make you feel and act differently. Even if a drug works perfectly, it will instigate a change in your coping mechanisms and habits, and that can be some of the most disrupting change a human can face–it changes your own sense of identity.
Also, tales of profoundly negative side-effects tend to get amplified with outrage because doctors often pressure the patient to “stick with it” when the drug is going horribly wrong, because during the first few days of treatment it is almost impossible for the doctor to tell the difference between untenable physiological side effects and the equally distressing psychological difficulty of adjusting to the both the medication and the person you become when you’re on it. My advice here is to find a doctor who knows how to listen. A good doctor will know when to encourage you to tough it out and when to get you in for an immediate medication change.
I’m not saying your side-effect experience was psychological rather than physiological, but even if I were I would say the experience was still valid. (And any psychiatrist worth his lithium salts can tell you exactly why and how there is pretty much no meaningful difference between psychology and psychiatry in the human brain at the emotional level.) I’m just saying that medication balancing is rough, even when it works.
If you know you still have an untreated problem it may be worth it to revisit the issue. Start with a reassessment that includes the knowledge of how you react to ritalin and dexedrine. It sounds like a possible indicator that ADD is a misdiagnosis or at best an obscuring factor to a separate underlying factor.
Anyway, I think I’ve hijacked Sandra’s blog long enough. I felt it was relevant to her thread, but I’ll stop here. 🙂 And remember: I’m not a doctor, but I’ve seen one on TV.
Actually, Ritalin is just fine for adults. It’s considered somewhat “old school” in this day and age of combination-factor medications, but it’s generally the first drug to try due to its fast titration (you are “off” ritalin within 4 hours of your last pill) and low incidence of side effects. All ADD medications are prescribed less for adults rather than children because pure ADHD rarely lasts to adulthood.
Ritalin is a powerful stimulant–a narcotic–at any time of life, though patients with genuine ADHD do indeed respond quite differently to it. A lot of doctors in the 90’s got in the habit of diagnosing with the cure; they’d give you ritalin and if you got better instead of acting out they would diagnose you with ADD. This practice has largely been renounced: apparently getting better reduces acting-out behavior, but so does getting high, which is what happens to the non-ADD kids.
Since typical therapeutic dosages (30-60mg) are very close to recreational dosages (80-100mg), and because ADD changes its nature in about 75% of its patients at puberty, I can easily see your schoolmate getting into trouble in high school. To my mind, however, there was a critical failure here that nobody bothered to check up on this kid’s medication, especially since the most sought-after side effect of ritalin in children is reduction of acting-out behaviors. Long before he went to prison the first time, somebody should have said, “is this working?” and didn’t. The family and probably also the doctor may have simply decided that “once ADD, always ADD, and ritalin fixes ADD”. It probably never occurred to them that the gradeschool cure might now be the high school poison.
I think your overdiagnosis percentages are very high, but the incidence and variation in individual cases of ADHD is a discussion for another day and in a different blog. I will concede that especially in the 1990’s there seemed to be an american mindset of “medicating children is easier”, but at the same time there was also a widespread anti-medicate-the-children sentiment, and I think the controversy they generated magnified the perceived prevalence of “diagnosis of convenience”.
Again I’m running off at the keyboard in someone else’s blog. Kazriko: If you really want to get me going, poke me somewhere other than Sandra’s LiveJournal and ask me to tell you the “than what?” that comes after “medicating children is easier”. Be ready for an earful. 🙂
Actually, Ritalin is just fine for adults. It’s considered somewhat “old school” in this day and age of combination-factor medications, but it’s generally the first drug to try due to its fast titration (you are “off” ritalin within 4 hours of your last pill) and low incidence of side effects. All ADD medications are prescribed less for adults rather than children because pure ADHD rarely lasts to adulthood.
Ritalin is a powerful stimulant–a narcotic–at any time of life, though patients with genuine ADHD do indeed respond quite differently to it. A lot of doctors in the 90’s got in the habit of diagnosing with the cure; they’d give you ritalin and if you got better instead of acting out they would diagnose you with ADD. This practice has largely been renounced: apparently getting better reduces acting-out behavior, but so does getting high, which is what happens to the non-ADD kids.
Since typical therapeutic dosages (30-60mg) are very close to recreational dosages (80-100mg), and because ADD changes its nature in about 75% of its patients at puberty, I can easily see your schoolmate getting into trouble in high school. To my mind, however, there was a critical failure here that nobody bothered to check up on this kid’s medication, especially since the most sought-after side effect of ritalin in children is reduction of acting-out behaviors. Long before he went to prison the first time, somebody should have said, “is this working?” and didn’t. The family and probably also the doctor may have simply decided that “once ADD, always ADD, and ritalin fixes ADD”. It probably never occurred to them that the gradeschool cure might now be the high school poison.
I think your overdiagnosis percentages are very high, but the incidence and variation in individual cases of ADHD is a discussion for another day and in a different blog. I will concede that especially in the 1990’s there seemed to be an american mindset of “medicating children is easier”, but at the same time there was also a widespread anti-medicate-the-children sentiment, and I think the controversy they generated magnified the perceived prevalence of “diagnosis of convenience”.
Again I’m running off at the keyboard in someone else’s blog. Kazriko: If you really want to get me going, poke me somewhere other than Sandra’s LiveJournal and ask me to tell you the “than what?” that comes after “medicating children is easier”. Be ready for an earful. 🙂
Link wants to try it… I think that is all the valid reason needed.
Personally, I see lots of traits I share with Emily. I notice that I make lists and lists and lists because I can’t keep focused without them. I drink more coffee than any doctor would be happy with and I occasionally over eat. Hum… self medicating, perhaps? I don’t know but at this point it works.
With Emily, she gets medication 6 days a week and then on Saturdays we don’t take any medication so she gets one day to sleep in and eat with an appetite. I would not do this except that her medication makes it hard for her to sleep (not that she likes to sleep at any time) and takes away her appetite. I make sure that she has all her breakfast before school and then she’ll eat after school but I know for a fact that she hardly ever eats much lunch. Also if she takes her medication all 7 days, it’s effectiveness is reduced by the 8th or 9th day and we might as well not have it.
Link wants to try it… I think that is all the valid reason needed.
Personally, I see lots of traits I share with Emily. I notice that I make lists and lists and lists because I can’t keep focused without them. I drink more coffee than any doctor would be happy with and I occasionally over eat. Hum… self medicating, perhaps? I don’t know but at this point it works.
With Emily, she gets medication 6 days a week and then on Saturdays we don’t take any medication so she gets one day to sleep in and eat with an appetite. I would not do this except that her medication makes it hard for her to sleep (not that she likes to sleep at any time) and takes away her appetite. I make sure that she has all her breakfast before school and then she’ll eat after school but I know for a fact that she hardly ever eats much lunch. Also if she takes her medication all 7 days, it’s effectiveness is reduced by the 8th or 9th day and we might as well not have it.
I know you don’t need my validation, but I’m going to say anyway I think you’re doing the right thing. You’re expanding Link’s agency by giving him an option that wasn’t there before. And perhaps, by giving him a way to become more like his peers, you’ll also create room for him to cherish himself for who he is.
I know you don’t need my validation, but I’m going to say anyway I think you’re doing the right thing. You’re expanding Link’s agency by giving him an option that wasn’t there before. And perhaps, by giving him a way to become more like his peers, you’ll also create room for him to cherish himself for who he is.
Expanded Options
One more data point for you, Sandra: this is bang on.
ADD is nothing more than a different way of thinking; it’s more creative and unique. By giving Link the ability to understand the way he thinks and by figuratively giving him a hat he can take on or off based on whether he wants narrow focus or broad perspective, he’ll actually be kitted out for a much wider range of adaptability. I’m excited for him!
Expanded Options
One more data point for you, Sandra: this is bang on.
ADD is nothing more than a different way of thinking; it’s more creative and unique. By giving Link the ability to understand the way he thinks and by figuratively giving him a hat he can take on or off based on whether he wants narrow focus or broad perspective, he’ll actually be kitted out for a much wider range of adaptability. I’m excited for him!