Day: January 22, 2007

The Other Side

By / January 22, 2007 / 2 Comments

I’ve entered contests before. Just last year I entered a blog writing contest where I had to write a blog on the contest’s topic. I was dancing on clouds when I was chosen as a finalist. Then when I didn’t even place, I cried. I tried very hard not to base my feelings of self worth on that contest lost. Eventually I picked up, moved on, and it no longer hurts anymore.

Today I was on the other side of that experience. Thirteen artists submitted pictures in hopes of being selected for my book project. At first I was delighted and flattered that so many people would care to work with me. So many people looked at a few lines of text and trusted that the rest of the book would be good. Each set of pictures was accompanied by an email filled with hope. I realized that each of these artists was in the same position that I was in with the blogging contest. Each hoped to be selected and have their art reaffirmed. I exchanged several emails with some of the artists. I came to know them just a little. In the end, only one artist could be used for the book. I had to write 12 emails which I knew would disappoint the recipients.

The judge in the blogging contest rambled for several sentences about how difficult it was to choose and how she wished she could choose everyone. As one of the unchosen, I felt like she was just being polite. But now I know she was telling bare truth. It is hard to choose. I wish I could choose everyone. Each of the artists who submitted was fully capable of illustrating a children’s book. There were things that I liked about every one of them. In the end, one set of images just clicked with me and with the spirit of the story I wrote. This does not mean that the other submissions were faulty. They just didn’t click for me as strongly as the one artist I selected.

This coming Friday Howard will be blogging about all of the artists who submitted. Hopefully this will send some exciting projects in the direction of the artists. I see no reason that everyone can’t win from this. I now have contacts with artists and writers both. Hopefully I can help facilitate connections between the two worlds.

Choosing Dreams

By / January 22, 2007 / 16 Comments

From 1985 by Bowling for Soup

Debbie just hit the wall
she never had it all
one prozac a day
husband’s a CPA
her dreams went out the door
when she turned 24
only been with one man
what happened to her plan?
She was gonna be an actress.
She was gonna be a star...

The lyrics go on to describe how Debbie is fixated on 1985 because she feels like that is the last time that her life was good. The song is amusing, but every time I feel sorry for Debbie. Not because she has failed to achieve her dreams, but because she fails to recognize the dreams she has achieved. What happened when Debbie was 24? Somehow I doubt anyone forced her to get married and settle down. It was her choice. She must have chosen it because part of her wanted to be married and have kids. She dreamed of being an actress, but she also dreamed of being a mother and having a home. She chose the second dream and is now making herself miserable by forgetting why she chose the path that she did. Why is she dwelling on old, lost dreams when she can be creating new ones?

Some people are caught in traps that are not of their own devising. But most of us aren’t trapped at all. We only think that we are. Sometimes I feel hemmed in by all the responsibilities of being the mother of four kids. I feel oppressed by the endless stream of dishes, laundry, and housework. I feel exhausted by the demands that the business makes on me. I feel worn out from the effort of stretching small amounts of money to cover a multitude of expenses. All of these things can make me feel trapped. But I am not trapped. I walked into all of these things with my eyes wide open. My eyes are not the only thing that is open. The door is right there. I can choose to walk out of here any time want to. I continually choose to stay where I am because to walk out from under these pressures would be to abandon many of my dreams. I would be abandoning people I love for things which ultimately have less value to me. Do I dream of success as a writer? Absolutely. But not at the expense of my family life. This means that I may never be a famous author. I’m alright with that because I am surrounded by the wonderful, exhausting dreams I have chosen instead.