From 1985 by Bowling for Soup
Debbie just hit the wall
she never had it all
one prozac a day
husband’s a CPA
her dreams went out the door
when she turned 24
only been with one man
what happened to her plan?
She was gonna be an actress.
She was gonna be a star...
The lyrics go on to describe how Debbie is fixated on 1985 because she feels like that is the last time that her life was good. The song is amusing, but every time I feel sorry for Debbie. Not because she has failed to achieve her dreams, but because she fails to recognize the dreams she has achieved. What happened when Debbie was 24? Somehow I doubt anyone forced her to get married and settle down. It was her choice. She must have chosen it because part of her wanted to be married and have kids. She dreamed of being an actress, but she also dreamed of being a mother and having a home. She chose the second dream and is now making herself miserable by forgetting why she chose the path that she did. Why is she dwelling on old, lost dreams when she can be creating new ones?
Some people are caught in traps that are not of their own devising. But most of us aren’t trapped at all. We only think that we are. Sometimes I feel hemmed in by all the responsibilities of being the mother of four kids. I feel oppressed by the endless stream of dishes, laundry, and housework. I feel exhausted by the demands that the business makes on me. I feel worn out from the effort of stretching small amounts of money to cover a multitude of expenses. All of these things can make me feel trapped. But I am not trapped. I walked into all of these things with my eyes wide open. My eyes are not the only thing that is open. The door is right there. I can choose to walk out of here any time want to. I continually choose to stay where I am because to walk out from under these pressures would be to abandon many of my dreams. I would be abandoning people I love for things which ultimately have less value to me. Do I dream of success as a writer? Absolutely. But not at the expense of my family life. This means that I may never be a famous author. I’m alright with that because I am surrounded by the wonderful, exhausting dreams I have chosen instead.
I wonder, though, if the woman in the song had the same dreams you do. Many people get married because they feel they should, not because they want to. In that way, they ARE giving up their own dreams for something they don’t really want, but feel social pressure to have. Not everyone examines their choices before they make them.
As for me, lately I feel like maybe I’m chasing all the wrong dreams, as I don’t seem to be having much success at any of them.
I wonder, though, if the woman in the song had the same dreams you do. Many people get married because they feel they should, not because they want to. In that way, they ARE giving up their own dreams for something they don’t really want, but feel social pressure to have. Not everyone examines their choices before they make them.
As for me, lately I feel like maybe I’m chasing all the wrong dreams, as I don’t seem to be having much success at any of them.
Valid point. Making choices without analyzing (and reanalyzing and re-reanalyzing) is so foreign to me that I forget that other people sometimes do that. I always have goals. Not everyone does.
Just because you haven’t reached your dreams yet doesn’t mean they are the wrong dreams. You’re 25 for goodness sake. Give yourself some more time.
Oh. and Happy Birthday!
Valid point. Making choices without analyzing (and reanalyzing and re-reanalyzing) is so foreign to me that I forget that other people sometimes do that. I always have goals. Not everyone does.
Just because you haven’t reached your dreams yet doesn’t mean they are the wrong dreams. You’re 25 for goodness sake. Give yourself some more time.
Oh. and Happy Birthday!
I find myself playing the “what if” game every once in a while… ususally when I’m frustrated with my health. AND then Saturday Ross and I found ourselves without kids for two hours and we ate out together and talked and came to the conclusion that we just can’t play the “what if” game anymore! My health is what it is, our life is what it is and we just need to work out a good plan so we can all be happy and no one feels like they are doing all of the work.
And like I’ve said before: No going back in time with what you know now.
You would definitely change things and ruin the timeline! 🙂
I find myself playing the “what if” game every once in a while… ususally when I’m frustrated with my health. AND then Saturday Ross and I found ourselves without kids for two hours and we ate out together and talked and came to the conclusion that we just can’t play the “what if” game anymore! My health is what it is, our life is what it is and we just need to work out a good plan so we can all be happy and no one feels like they are doing all of the work.
And like I’ve said before: No going back in time with what you know now.
You would definitely change things and ruin the timeline! 🙂
Yeah, well, that’s the problem. I’m looking at my life today saying, “I’m 25! This is NOT where I wanted to be at 25. I’m all alone! Why am I not better than I am? Why haven’t I accomplished more?”
A lot of 25-year-olds have families and responsibilities and lives they actually like. What’s wrong with me?
Yeah, well, that’s the problem. I’m looking at my life today saying, “I’m 25! This is NOT where I wanted to be at 25. I’m all alone! Why am I not better than I am? Why haven’t I accomplished more?”
A lot of 25-year-olds have families and responsibilities and lives they actually like. What’s wrong with me?
Bowling For Soup covered SR-71’s song 1985 and sanitized it a bit – omitting lines like “Never knew George was gay, hoped they’d hook up one day”… but perhaps more tellingly, omitting “Where’s her fairy tale, where’s her dream? How many times will she ask herself ‘what happened to me?’ (The rubber broke!)”
Not that this is in any way a rebuttal of your critique. Just figured you might find it interesting. (Oh, complete lyrics are here…)
Bowling For Soup covered SR-71’s song 1985 and sanitized it a bit – omitting lines like “Never knew George was gay, hoped they’d hook up one day”… but perhaps more tellingly, omitting “Where’s her fairy tale, where’s her dream? How many times will she ask herself ‘what happened to me?’ (The rubber broke!)”
Not that this is in any way a rebuttal of your critique. Just figured you might find it interesting. (Oh, complete lyrics are here…)
I thought it sounded like a mid-life crisis the first time I heard the song. If she’d get off the prozac, she might be able to enjoy what she does have instead of pining for things she doesn’t. To me it’s a lesson in counting the blessings you have.
Good to know that you aren’t in the same boat!
I thought it sounded like a mid-life crisis the first time I heard the song. If she’d get off the prozac, she might be able to enjoy what she does have instead of pining for things she doesn’t. To me it’s a lesson in counting the blessings you have.
Good to know that you aren’t in the same boat!
That is very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
That is very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Bowling for Soup is a great band, even if I think the message in this song is silly. 🙂
For a story of what would have happened to her had she chosen the other path, here’s another song from a band that really caught my ear the first time I heard it…
http://www.go-racecar.com/sounds/songs/mainsong.html 2nd song down, Could’ve been. Free sample from the artist. 🙂 What happens when you abandon family for booze, cigarettes, and rock and roll.
Bowling for Soup is a great band, even if I think the message in this song is silly. 🙂
For a story of what would have happened to her had she chosen the other path, here’s another song from a band that really caught my ear the first time I heard it…
http://www.go-racecar.com/sounds/songs/mainsong.html 2nd song down, Could’ve been. Free sample from the artist. 🙂 What happens when you abandon family for booze, cigarettes, and rock and roll.