For the second time this week I arrived to pick up Gleek at Kindergarten only to be told that she was down in the office. On Wednesday she ran away from her teacher and threw a kicking/screaming tantrum when she was caught. Today she threw crayons at a classmate and hit the pregnant mom helper in the stomach. In both cases, Gleek had a pretty good day at school right until the end of class when she lost it over a minor issue. I had a longish talk with her teacher in which I was informed that compared to half of the afternoon kindergarten class, Gleek is a complete angel. Apparently Gleek isn’t even the worst in her class. Mostly she has trouble getting started on an assignment and then switching tasks when the class does.
I know that Gleek is an angel. I watch her as she tries so hard to control herself. When she can’t keep herself under control, she relies on me to rein her back in. I love her dearly, which is why I’m willing to keep working with her. My biggest school fear for her is that the people at school will get tired of dealing with her. So far that hasn’t happened. It concerns me to hear that there are so many kids with behavioral issues in the same grade as she is. I worry that she’ll end up in a class full of outrageous behavioral problems and won’t get the attention she needs. But all of those concerns are borrowing trouble. For today I needed to figure out how to address the current behavior and make sure that she knows it is unacceptable to treat teachers, helpers, and classmates this way.
Howard gave her a very serious talking-to, complete with Daddy Scowl. She didn’t like that. Then I sat down and required her to write “I’m sorry” notes to all the people affected by her behavior. This time around I let her dictate the notes and sign them, but I think in the future I’ll require her to do the writing as well. Hopefully creating the notes and delivering the notes will help her have a clearer picture of just how many people she affects when she misbehaves. And if knowing that she’ll have to write sorry notes helps her curb her own behavior, then so much the better.
I think the “sorry notes” are an excellent idea. It can be very hard to *say* sorry face to face, even (sometimes especially) when you know you’re in the wrong. The notes make it plain that the acts are not acceptable. Getting her to write them herself would also be good.
Social interaction is a HUGE thing to learn, even those of us who’ve been at it for 40 years still get it wrong on occasions, and do stuff we regret afterwards; it’s not really fair to expect young kids (I forget how old Gleek is…) to get it right infallibly. She sounds pretty harmless so far, to be honest – I’ve heard of and seen a lot worse.
The thing about switching tasks I can understand. If you’re in the middle of doing something, it’d frustrating to have to stop and do something else. It’s doubly so if the only reason is “now it’s time to do this instead”.
Dunno how it’s going your side of the pond, but here we have added problems of people in loco parentis not being allowed to apply ANY physical punishment, and the kids of course know this. I’m not advocating beating children, I had plenty of that as a kid and although it didn’t do me any serious harm it also didn’t do a lot of good, mostly all it did is mean that I didn’t respect my father as much as I might have. However there are occasions when a sharp smack can be more effective than a thousand words. Provided it’s only occasional and not indulged in to excess. The old-fashioned ” 6 of the best” approach is IMHO flawed. If you resort to that much physical punishment then you’ve lost the battle, and are losing the war.
I think the “sorry notes” are an excellent idea. It can be very hard to *say* sorry face to face, even (sometimes especially) when you know you’re in the wrong. The notes make it plain that the acts are not acceptable. Getting her to write them herself would also be good.
Social interaction is a HUGE thing to learn, even those of us who’ve been at it for 40 years still get it wrong on occasions, and do stuff we regret afterwards; it’s not really fair to expect young kids (I forget how old Gleek is…) to get it right infallibly. She sounds pretty harmless so far, to be honest – I’ve heard of and seen a lot worse.
The thing about switching tasks I can understand. If you’re in the middle of doing something, it’d frustrating to have to stop and do something else. It’s doubly so if the only reason is “now it’s time to do this instead”.
Dunno how it’s going your side of the pond, but here we have added problems of people in loco parentis not being allowed to apply ANY physical punishment, and the kids of course know this. I’m not advocating beating children, I had plenty of that as a kid and although it didn’t do me any serious harm it also didn’t do a lot of good, mostly all it did is mean that I didn’t respect my father as much as I might have. However there are occasions when a sharp smack can be more effective than a thousand words. Provided it’s only occasional and not indulged in to excess. The old-fashioned ” 6 of the best” approach is IMHO flawed. If you resort to that much physical punishment then you’ve lost the battle, and are losing the war.
How big a warning does she get before switching tasks? A five minute countdown might help alot. Also, having a picture schedule of what’s coming next might help.
My daughter’s slightly autistic, and transitions have always been difficult for her.
How big a warning does she get before switching tasks? A five minute countdown might help alot. Also, having a picture schedule of what’s coming next might help.
My daughter’s slightly autistic, and transitions have always been difficult for her.
She rarely gets any warning, but the teachers try to be flexible about giving her an extra minute to finish. Unfortunately that puts her behind on the next task. Early warnings and picture guides would help her tremendously, unfortunately there are 26 kids in her kindergarten class and there is only so much individual attention to go around. Even harder is that her teacher has walking pneumonia and is having a hard time keeping up. The good news is that there is a full time aide and parent volunteers in the classroom every day. Such is the mixed bag of public school.
She rarely gets any warning, but the teachers try to be flexible about giving her an extra minute to finish. Unfortunately that puts her behind on the next task. Early warnings and picture guides would help her tremendously, unfortunately there are 26 kids in her kindergarten class and there is only so much individual attention to go around. Even harder is that her teacher has walking pneumonia and is having a hard time keeping up. The good news is that there is a full time aide and parent volunteers in the classroom every day. Such is the mixed bag of public school.
It seems like a five minute and one minute warning would help ALL of the children. Same thing with a schedule on the blackboard / whiteboard.
It seems like a five minute and one minute warning would help ALL of the children. Same thing with a schedule on the blackboard / whiteboard.
Too much energy?
Hi.
This might seem like a silly question, but is it possible she has too much energy to sit still/concentrate, which leads to this situation?
For some reason, I’m flashbacking to junior high and thinking “Half the disciplinary problems with these guys could be solved by a mandatory basketball game/rock climbing exercise/3 mile jog…”
So, I’m wondering if Gleek might have too much energy to burn, and can you perhaps help her burn some of it off.
Yours,
Uri David
Too much energy?
Hi.
This might seem like a silly question, but is it possible she has too much energy to sit still/concentrate, which leads to this situation?
For some reason, I’m flashbacking to junior high and thinking “Half the disciplinary problems with these guys could be solved by a mandatory basketball game/rock climbing exercise/3 mile jog…”
So, I’m wondering if Gleek might have too much energy to burn, and can you perhaps help her burn some of it off.
Yours,
Uri David
I know it’s an extra burden on the teacher, but it might be helpful to all of the kids if she made a class wide announcement that the kids had 5 minutes to finish and they’ll be doing X next. My youngest nephew at age 11 still had trouble switching tasks, but if we told him you have X amount of time then we’ll be doing this he coped much better.
I know it’s an extra burden on the teacher, but it might be helpful to all of the kids if she made a class wide announcement that the kids had 5 minutes to finish and they’ll be doing X next. My youngest nephew at age 11 still had trouble switching tasks, but if we told him you have X amount of time then we’ll be doing this he coped much better.
Everytime you write about Gleek and kindergarten problems I get scared because I can TOTALLY see my SoccerGirl behaving that way!
But, then, you add on good ideas on how to fix the problems…
so, whew! then I’m not SO scared… 🙂
You have GREAT fixing ideas! Sorry notes are wonderful!
August is when we will start our own adventures in Kindergarten.
Who knows what will happen?
Everytime you write about Gleek and kindergarten problems I get scared because I can TOTALLY see my SoccerGirl behaving that way!
But, then, you add on good ideas on how to fix the problems…
so, whew! then I’m not SO scared… 🙂
You have GREAT fixing ideas! Sorry notes are wonderful!
August is when we will start our own adventures in Kindergarten.
Who knows what will happen?