Day: February 26, 2007

A comment in someone else’s journal that I wanted to keep

By / February 26, 2007 / 10 Comments

Below is a piece of a comment to a post in a friend’s journal about grieving after Thyroid cancer. It is important to note that the commenter went on to point out how the friend had survived the cancer and that was cause for rejoicing. It was a good comment, but there was one sentence in it that I really needed to respond to for reasons of my own.

The Comment:

“I fail to see the point of
grieving for a part of your body that had stopped doing
its job properly and started trying to kill you, and which
has now been subdued.”

My response:

The grief is not for the body part, it is for the time which was stolen, the opportunities which were negated. It is also for the continuing impact of having a necessary organ removed. Such a huge life event sends ripples through one’s whole life. They get ever smaller, but so long as they exist, they change your life. Sometimes the changes are cause for joy. Sometimes they are cause for grief. Grief is not rational and if it exists it must be dealt with or it will continue to shadow us.

We who have been stricken must take the time to shake our fists at the universe and shout “That was not fair!” Even though we know that the cry will not be acknowledged. Even though we know that it is not logical. Somehow the shouting releases the pain within and allows it to dissipate.

Yet Another Day Containing a Trip to the Doctor

By / February 26, 2007 / 14 Comments

For the past couple of days Kiki has been sleeping 12-14 hours per day. She’ll get up, drag around for awhile, then head back to bed. This wouldn’t be too alarming except that she has been complaining of fatigue for more than a week. Factor in the fact that a close friend has been diagnosed with Mono, and we were off to the doctor for a blood test. (It was negative.)

The appointment was at 3 pm, which apparently is the busiest hour of the day for the doctor. I usually schedule for first thing in the morning because the wait times are shorter and I have to take fewer children along. Today I had all four kids and a significant wait. Fortunately they were pretty good. Patches only circled the waiting room table 23 times before he climbed all over the chairs and jumped off. Gleek bounced around a little bit, then settled to draw a picture and read a book. Kiki and Link both read quietly. Then we crammed all of us into one little exam room. After the finger poke and negative test for Mono, the doctor suggested we draw blood to do some other tests. He made very clear that what she has is probably a viral thing that she’ll get over, but if it was something more serious, knowing sooner is much better than later. So we drew blood which will be tested for white blood count, anemia, thyroid disorder, diabetes, and strep. If all that is negative and she still doesn’t get better, we’ll be off to see a specialist of some kind.

My money is on Kiki just getting better without any medical intervention. That is usually the result when I spend money for medical tests.

EDIT March 6, 2007: Kiki got better within two days. She was enjoying her first day back at school when the doctor’s office finally called me to tell me all the blood work was normal. Too bad I didn’t actually lay down any money. I would have won.