Lessons in Hostessing

During my Seattle trip I had the opportunity to watch two excellent hostesses at work. I observed them fairly closely because I want to be as good a hostess when I have guests.

The first excellent hostess was Donna Strohl. She opened her home to Howard and me and all our kids. She did this without ever having met any of us. We’d met Dan before, but not Donna. Dan also gets marks for being an excellent host. Throughout our visit they did everything they could to make us comfortable. They fed our crew many times even though we more than doubled the number of people to feed. When they noticed that Link was anxious about their dog, they took the dog to visit a neighbor for the rest of the day. The dog was also removed for the schlockfest party so as not to bother the guests there. When my kids began to get bored, craft projects appeared. When my kids helped to trash the entire downstairs, they did not show a single sign of dismay. We felt comfortable there from the moment we walked in the door until it was time to leave. There was never a sense that we’d over stayed our welcome.

The Strohls’ wonderful hosting is mentioned many times in many of the blogs I’ve written about Seattle, so I want to focus on the second hostess. Her name is Sara Barnes. She is the wife of cartoonist Bill Barnes. They hosted a BBQ for many of the cartoonists who came into town for the convention. We arrived at the party late and I could feel the dismay of my children as we walked in to that room full of strange grown ups. The BBQ food looked wonderful to me, but not to my kids. I loaded a couple of plates as best I could and corralled my kids into a corner. Gleek disappeared to play with a couple other children who were present, but Kiki, Link, and Patches all hovered near me. They were very polite and didn’t make a loud fuss, but were constantly requesting food that they liked or just to leave. They did not want to be there at all.

Howard observed this and quietly told me that we wouldn’t stay long. But I know how important these social events are to make business contacts. I also know that they are part of what makes cartooning so enjoyable for Howard. I could tell that I would not be able to mingle, but I was determined to make sure that Howard would not miss out because the kids and I were along. There was a shelf of children’s books nearby and I was able to distract the children for awhile with that. Patches was moving from quietly displeased into noisily displeased when Sara came over and offered to bring out some toys for the kids. She brought a tub full of cars. Patches and Link played with the cars happily for awhile. Kiki located a comic book and occupied herself. For the first time that evening I found myself able to sit on a chair rather than on the floor with the kids. I still had to focus almost entirely on them, but I had a little more space.

After awhile Patches got pulled into a game with other kids and Link got bored of the cars. I was again hearing frequent requests to leave. Sara Barnes appeared again and asked if Link would like a marble toy to play with and a quiet room away from the crowd. It was a perfect suggestion. She watched my child and discerned his needs. Once Link was set up, Sara then spent some time talking with me. She identified whom I might enjoy talking to and she introduced me. By the end of the party my kids were all having a great time and left only reluctantly. Howard got to visit without interruption and I was able to have some adult conversations. The kindness of Sara turned a miserable event into an enjoyable one. I want to be that kind of hostess.