Day: May 14, 2007

Instead of sending the letter, I went in and talked to Kiki’s teacher. I had to make sure there was no possibility that Kiki’s failing grades would get her held back in 6th grade. That would be a disaster for her emotionally. It isn’t. She’s headed for 7th. If it had been a possibility, then I would have fought the late work policy and we would have scrambled hard to make sure she did enough work to pass.

I expressed my concern to the teacher that there was no way for Kiki to bring her grades up at this point. The teacher agreed and said she intends to change the policy for next year. The teacher then granted a few deadline extensions for Kiki. I told her our plan for school work for the remainder of the year. Kiki still needs to scramble to get work done. But this time I’ve got her committed to scrambling rather than me enforcing the scramble.

This conversation was such a nice contrast with last Friday’s conversation. We were all happy and looking for solutions rather than angry.

Mrs. 6th Grade Teacher,

Kiki will be failing your class this term. This is primarily her fault. She is the one who did not do the work. I considered doing what I did last term and making her do nothing but homework until it is all done and turned in. However, your policy of only giving 60% on late work means that even if she works her heart out to make up all the work, she will still fail. I do not feel like it is fair to my child or to the rest of our family to make us all miserable when there is no hope of reward.

Part of the reason Kiki gave up this term was because last term she worked all day, every day, for a week to make up work and still failed classes. She decided that since working hard didn’t make a difference, she would just focus on having fun instead.

Kiki and I had several long conversations this weekend. I believe she now understands why it is important to strive for good grades even if you don’t measure your self worth by them. She has expressed a new commitment to doing her best in school.

I will be enforcing an hour a day of homework for Kiki. I will make sure that she actually does work for that entire hour. She will focus on upcoming assignments first. When those are done, she will work on things that are late. She has to do this hour of homework before she is allowed some of the privilege activities that she enjoys. Hopefully this will help her learn that work must come before play.

Just wanted to let you know what my plans are for helping Kiki learn the lessons she needs.