My cousin is ill. She has been ill for a long time with a wide variety of not-exactly-crippling problems. The illnesses drain her of energy. The medicines she must take drain her family resources and cause her to put on weight. She is left with a cluttered house and four kids to take care of and only a very limited amount of energy or financial resources to manage them. This past week she was hospitalized. I’ve only just acquired this information because my mom spoke with her mom and passed the news along. I fell out of touch with this cousin somewhere during the last 10 years.
This is the cousin I always admired and looked up to. She was two years older than me, so I watched her date and graduate in anticipation of doing these things myself. She was always so pretty and talented. She always seemed to have piles of friends and potential boyfriends. The boyfriends were only potential because she decided not to be in a serious relationship in high school. I admired that and decided to follow the example. Many of the steps I took during my teen years were following in her footprints. She married and had kids which moved her into another realm until I did the same. Then we were peers again. We bought this house from her.
I haven’t spoken with her in a long time, but I know that the life she has now is not the one she dreamed of. The life she dreamed of is impossible because of things she did not choose. I am once again brought to a realization of how blessed I am in my own life. I have the health and energy to chase the life I want rather than nearly drowning just trying to stay afloat. I have been greatly blessed and so I have the obligation to use my blessings to help those who struggle. My cousin has no energy to spare for keeping in touch, so I must reach out to her. I must look around me to see where I can help. I must use some of my spare energy to bless the lives of others.
Let me say as someone with a chronic illness that I greatly appreciate it when people reach out to me. Often, I don’t have the energy or motivation (it’s amazing how much motivation levels are related to energy levels) to reach out to others, even though I often want to. It’s also important because I know that I, at least, become very isolated very easily.
You KNOW I understand all this.
I’ve felt very lonely in my own ward because NO ONE has reached out to me in the 2 years we’ve been here. They all have their own friends and cliques and close by family.
Thankfully, I have a group of friends (in a different ward) and all I have to do is go to a lunch at someone’s house. (sometimes that is the only thing I can do that day and have to come home and rest… socializing takes energy!)
Even more thankfully, new people have moved into MY ward that I’ve been inviting to the Mother’s Playgroup and it feels great to see and talk with someone during the week and then see them at church.
I’m glad that I could reach out to others in a way that I wish I had been.
I might even start up a Mother’s Group for our ward as an Enrichment Activity…