Day: June 22, 2007

Botanical Gardens

By / June 22, 2007

Today was “outing day.” If the kids have been getting all their chores done during the week, then we take some time on Friday to go and do something out of the ordinary just for fun. Today we started with a drive to Dragon’s Keep to pick up Howard. We went out to dinner at Chuck-a-rama. It was pricey, but I can’t teach kids how to behave in a restaurant if we never go to one. They love getting to pick whatever they want to eat. They especially love that they can pick lots of desserts.

After dinner the kids weren’t quite ready to go home yet. I was considering taking them to the Museum of Art at BYU, but I wasn’t sure when it closed for the day. On a whim I drove to the BYU Botanical Gardens instead. It was the right choice. The kids loved the duck pond. Another family gave us the last of their bread so my kids got to feed ducks. They even got to feed three little ducklings. The pond also had four turtles and some fish. The kids loved it. After awhile we went on a walk along the trail through the gardens. The kids loved that as well. They kept running ahead and exclaiming over every cool thing they found. A stream! A flower! A rock wall! Stairs! A bridge! Tennis balls! A Bird! We took a break at the top of the trail and went inside the Maeser building for a bathroom. I still love that building. I think it is my favorite building on the campus. The kids liked it too. Their voices automatically hushed with reverence. Then we wended our way back down the trail to the duck pond. I could tell that the kids were wearing out. They stopped running so far ahead and the steady stream of exclamations dwindled to a trickle.

At the base of the trail we again paused to enjoy the duck pond. A group of people had a dog there. I found it fascinating that wherever the dog went all the ducks in the pond would begin swimming toward the dog. It was almost as if they were prepared to attack the potential predator. There were probably 20 ducks out there and it was fascinating to watch this little fleet swim and maneuver. The dog was paying no attention to the ducks. He was having fun with sticks and people.

Then it was time to go home. All the kids climbed into the car tired and happy. Gleek had a fistful of duck feathers which she sorted and described out loud during the trip home. Kiki kept talking about how she’d like to come back and just sit and draw or read. She kept asking me if I had come there often when I was a student at BYU. I did, but not often. I always meant to go, but life keeps getting busy. Link asked if maybe we could buy a house near that pond because he’d like to live close to it. Patches was too tired for commentary.

It was a good outing. We need to go back there again some time.

Self promtion 101

By / June 22, 2007 / 1 Comment

I had some thoughts while mowing the lawn. Some of them relate to my recent attendance at a writer’s workshop, others are things that bumped into each other and made connections.

When you’re trying to promote yourself or your work it is very important to be remembered. This is tricky because human brains are designed to sift information and dump all of the unimportant stuff. This is why you can arrive at work and not remember the drive at all. The drive was unimportant so it got dumped. However, if you have to slam on your breaks and swerve to miss a bicyclist, you will remember the entire drive because that swerve becomes the hook on which the entire memory hangs. If you want people to remember you, then you need to find hooks on which to hang the memory.

Sometimes you can use a hook that is already in place. I am frequently able to do this, particularly with people who have met Howard before. All I have to say is “I’m Howard’s wife” and they instantly have a place to hang the memory of me. You can do this even without a famous husband if you can tie into an interest the person already has. For example if you start a conversation about costuming with a costumed person at a con, then costuming can serve as a hook for the memory of you. All those conversations that start with “Oh you’re from Gettysburg? Do you know…” those are efforts to find pre-existing hooks and connections.

Often there isn’t a hook ready and waiting for you. Then you have to set your own hook. The best and surest way to do this is to have multiple contacts over a space of time. People meet you at a con once and forget you, but if you’re at the same con the next year then you can draw upon that previous meeting as a hook. The key is for you to remember enough about the first contact that you can draw it out of their deep stored memory. “I met you here last year” may not be sufficient to trigger a memory, but “I was the one who asked you the question about the frog” probably would be. Inviting people out to lunch is a great way to get remembered because the restaurant and the food can become a hook. This was why I was so frustrated with the workshop. I was not able to get near enough to any of the guests to set a hook and hang a memory. I couldn’t invite them to dinner or even just chat long enough to find a pre-existing hook. In the end I have to be content that our mutual attendance at the workshop will serve as a hook if I ever get a chance to meet any of them again.

It is important to realize that while being remembered is critical to self promoting, you can be remembered negatively. You don’t want to be remembered as “that annoying guy” unless your ability to be annoying is what you’re trying to promote. You will not be remembered by everyone at every meeting. It is possible to make a first impression so vivid that it will never be forgotten, but that is more likely to happen if the first impression is vividly negative. You want to be memorable, not desperate. Remember your multiple contacts can take place in the course of a con or a day or even an hour if you manage it right.