My two daughters are very different individuals and yet they are both like me. For a long time it puzzled me how this could be true. I finally figured it out. Kiki is more like me as I am now. Gleek is more like me as I was in my childhood.
Kiki and I are both very organizational. We love to dive in and create order out of chaos. Neither of us is particularly good at maintaining the order we’ve created. However I was not organized as a child and Kiki has always been organized. This probably means that as an adult she will figure out how to stay organized. This makes me glad because once she has figured it out, perhaps she can teach me. Kiki and I are very empathetic. We can both see how the other person feels and we can generalize from a small experience to a large one. We are both creative and artistic. Neither of us is particularly interested in wearing make up except for special occasions.
Kiki is much more dramatic than I am. She is much more of a perfectionist. I usually say “good enough” and she gets upset because it isn’t right. The perfectionism probably comes from Howard. I think the drama is all her own.
Gleek always has calluses, blisters, and healing blisters on the palms of her hands. They come from climbing swingsets and crossing money bars. I spent most of my childhood with similar badges of activity. I always had bruises and scrapes and half-healed scabs, as does Gleek. My hair was always a tangly mess, ditto Gleek. Gleek shares my childhood fascination with horses. I was puzzled when Kiki was not enthralled by my huge stacks of horse books remaining from my childhood reading days. But I’ll bet that Gleek will read them all and love them as I did. Kiki has shown very little interest in braiding, but Gleek braids all the time. I still love to braid, particularly my own long hair. Gleek is fascinated by make up and fashion, as was I at her age. She is eagerly looking forward to getting her ears pierced and wearing eye shadow. I remember being the same way.
Gleek is more headstrong and stubborn than I was as a child. If I ever got into trouble at school it was emotionally crushing for me, but Gleek seems to be able to brush it off.
So I see these things in my girls now and it is like echoes across time. They are similar to me, but they are not me. They will make different choices than I have made and will end up in places that I can not predict. As a mother I hope that those places are ones that make them happy and fulfilled. Their choices may make them more like me or less like me. Both could be good, both could be bad. Mostly I need to see these similarities because they help me to understand the wonderful individuals who are my daughters.