Day: July 6, 2007

Blocked

I’m having a “My writing stinks” kind of a day. Every project I currently have in the works looks lame. My completed projects still look alright, so it isn’t as bad as it could be. I guess I just look at the unfinished work and don’t know how to fix it. Not only am I unsure how to fix it, but I can’t find any enthusiasm for doing so. And yet in this same time frame I’ve written three times as many blog entries as I usually do. Some of them felt pretty good too. Of course even the ones that seemed good garnered little response. So perhaps they weren’t as good as I though they were. Perhaps they just mean something to me and I need to be content with that.

I’m starting to doubt that I can pull off my intended middle-grade novel. I’m confident that I can push it through to completion, but I just don’t know that it will be worth reading when I am done. Supposedly the book is just to help Link deal with issues, but that focus seems scattered. I don’t know how to put the necessary threads where they need to be. I don’t know if it will mean anything to him. I want it to mean something to him, but I don’t know that it will. I’ve got two chapters done. I was supposed to finish Chapter 3 this week, but I haven’t even started it. This week was really busy, which is a good excuse, but it doesn’t change the fact that every time I open the file I have no clue what to write next. Writer’s block. urgh. I guess it is more accurate to say that while I know what comes next, I can’t make myself care. And if I don’t care, that comes through in the writing.

I should probably read the first two chapters to Link to see if he cares. If he doesn’t, then I should probably pack it away for awhile and let it go.

Festival Air

The Provo Freedom Festival is a big conglomeration of events. It includes contests and beauty pageants and fireworks and parades and an art’s festival. This last, the art’s festival, includes closing several downtown streets and letting vendors set up booths to sell their wares. I love the idea of an arts festival in open air, but I’ve never gone because that kind of setting is a nightmare for keeping track of small children. It is also guaranteed to make every child in range come down with a bad case of the screaming gimmies, causing them to demand every treat in sight.

This year I finally got to go because my parents volunteered to watch kids while I wandered off for awhile. I picked a time in late afternoon when the sun was not so scorching hot. It was very pleasant to wander through the booths just looking at things without feeling compelled to buy anything. I even stopped to chat with a man who was selling the books he had written.

There is something about the air at a festival like that. Everyone was there to enjoy themselves. For a moment I just stopped and felt the wind as it brushed past me. I looked around at the variety of people who passed by me. There were people dressed to the nines with coifed hair and perfect makeup. There were people with shaggy hair and raggedy clothing. There were people with black hair, piercings, and eyeliner. There were bikers and beauty queens, and stay at home moms, and business men, and families, well dressed kids, and ragamuffin kids, people with different skins and cultural dress. All of those different people gathered together for the purpose of enjoying the day. Naturally, not everyone was happy. Some kids were screaming, some couples were fighting, some people looked hot and miserable, but all of those things just added to the flavor of the event. There is an energy about a gathering of people who are intent on enjoyement.

I loved my own lack of agenda. I had no where in particular to be. I wasn’t seeking anything in particular. I was just there to observe and participate. As I walked I heard Debra Fotheringham performing in a pavillion. I stopped to listen for awhile, delighted to find a familiar face in the crowd. The familiar music was a joy as well. I wished that I could have stayed to talk to her after she was done singing, but Howard joined me and we needed to go and eat. I learned later that she spotted us in the crowd. If I’d known that, I definitely would have stayed to talk for awhile. Ah well. I’m sure I’ll bump into her again since we have lots of mutual acquiantances now.

After dinner Howard and I left the festival behind and went back to Dragon’s Keep. The Keep was hosting an all night game fest for whoever wanted to stop in and play. This was because it is right on the parade route for the Grand Parade. All up and down the street people were camping out to save places for the parade. Hundreds of people were wandering around chatting and just enjoying the pleasant nigh air. Again there was festival in the air. I did not spend all night at the keep. I only stayed until 12:30 because I needed to be home to get the kids up for the parade. But part of me wishes that I could have stayed. It was such a happy place to be. There were so many good friends to talk to. It was like being in college again when I did not have children to be responsible for.

I drove home down the parade route, past crowds of people all wandering about and partaking of the festival air. I wished I could stay. That freedom from responsibility is an experience to be relished. Freedom Festival indeed.

Going to the movies

My Dad likes to take people to movies. Mostly I think that he likes to see movies and wants to share that joy with his family. So it came as no surprise when he suggested taking the kids to go see Shrek 3. I don’t take my kids to movie theaters. It is expensive and tends to be very frustrating because Gleek can not sit still. She is honestly incapable of remaining still when she is excited by something new. She will sit wonderfully still for the first half of a movie, but after that she just has to move. This used to mean that she would be running up and down the aisles and climbing on any available railing. She’s gotten better. Now she just bounces in her seat and kicks her legs constantly and furiously. Somehow the physical motion helps her concentrate on the film.

Fortunately for everyone, we had a row to ourselves. I put Gleek down next to me and let her kick and bounce to her heart’s delight because it didn’t bother anyone else. It worked pretty well. I’m still not going to take my kids to expensive movies, because if I pay that much I want to be able to fully enjoy the show. However, I may take them to some of the discount shows that are available locally. Maybe. If I’m feeling up to it.

The kids all really enjoyed Shrek 3. I didn’t as much, but that’s okay. Mostly I was along for the trip to help the kids have fun being taken to the movies by their Grandpa.