Day: August 13, 2007

When I was in school I always cringed when a teacher handed out an assignment that required working in groups. There are a few exceptions to this, but I still frequently feel that way when I’ve got a group project. I just figured out why. The needs of the project often conflict with the social needs of the group.

I am a project oriented person. I very quickly get a handle on a new project and have a clear picture of how things need to proceed to make the project a success. If I am in a position of control or leadership, I can just start handing out assignments to make sure that the project gets done right. That is one of the situations where I can enjoy a group project. Alternately I can enjoy group projects when I am very clearly not in charge and the project is being handled well. Then I am content to fulfill the smaller assignments. But sometimes I am not clearly in charge and the project is being mishandled. Then I have to weigh my need to not damage the social relationships within the group with my need to see the project done well.

When I was in school the issue was to not alienate my peers by seeming too smart or too controlling. Also I needed to not alienate my peers by leaning on them too hard to get their parts of the project done. It was a tricky balance at best. As I’ve grown the social relationships have grown a little more subtle, but the essense is the same. The more important the project, and the more important the relationships, then the higher my stress levels will be.

I almost always choose maintaining relationships over completion of projects.

I have just returned from my family reunion. It went well. Everyone had fun and we all had some good bonding time. The location was a set of storefronts that had been turned into a reunion center. The downstairs contained a rec room, an ice cream shoppe, a bunk room, and a living room area. Upstairs contained a kitchen, a dining area, a TV room, and 8 bedrooms. It was a neat location. Everywhere I looked there were reminders that I was in a small town and that the building was old. I liked that. I liked that the bathroom “locks” were all hook-and-eye arrangements. I liked that the glass was wavy. I liked the big 10 foot wide hallway with doors down the sides which was just begging for a ghost to come floating down it. Not that I actually wanted to see a ghost or be near one. It was just the right setting for one. That effect was greatly enhanced last night when a storm blew through and knocked out the power for about 4 hours. We got to spend the final night of the reunion telling stories and playing games by candlelight. I think that was my favorite part. It was interesting and exciting without actually being dangerous.

This morning we all got up and cleaned for two hours. This particular reunion center keeps prices low by asking that guests clean up after themselves. The cleaning wasn’t hard, but it was tiring. The drive home was made interesting by having to drive an hour down Logan canyon at 5-10 mph because we got stuck behind the truck that was painting new lines on the road. We hit additional traffic near Ogden because of an accident. So our 3 hour drive home was actually 4 hours long.

When we arrived home we discovered that turning off the AC may not be a good idea if you’re going to come home at 4 pm on a 95 degree day. It is definitely not a good idea if you’re going to accidentally leave two catfish fillets on the counter for the three days that you are gone. I suspect that having the AC on would not have helped much, but 90 degrees inside a house full of putrid dead-animal smell was a really unpleasant homecoming.

Febreze Spray is my new favorite cleaning agent. We used clorox and fans. We did all we could to make the smell gone, but hours later it still lingered. Then I grabbed the Febreze Spray and squirted it in the air all over the house. It is magic. It pulled the last putrid molecules out of the air or neutralized them in some way. I like the smell of “I’ve just cleaned” far more than I like “dead animal.”

So now I’m back. Tonight I’ll sleep in my own bed. And tomorrow I’ve got to start getting ready in earnest for the looming start-of-school. One week and counting.