Yesterday Kiki attended Anime Banzai with Howard. It is a kid friendly convention. Kiki found many things to delight her and many kindred spirits to talk to. At some point during the convention Kiki and Howard ran into a person who reads this blog. He asked her how she liked having her mom blog about her. Kiki’s response was “She does?” I’m surprised at this response because I’ve never attempted to keep my blogging habit a secret from the kids. In fact several times I’ve specifically asked Kiki’s permission before posting something of hers. I asked Kiki later about her answer and she said that while she knew I blogged, she’d never considered that other people might be reading it. I assured her that I’m careful about what I post. And I also told her how to look up my blog and read it whenever she wants. I also told her that if she ever wants something about her removed from my blog, she has only to let me know and I’ll pull it down. In another few years (like maybe when she’s 16) we’ll probably get her a livejournal account of her own and then she can comment and tell her side of these stories.
Then in church today we had a lesson on being careful how we speak to and of each other. There was also a section on being careful how we think and speak about ourselves. The major point of the lesson is that words have great power to heal and do damage. Sticking the words “just kidding” at the end of a sentence doesn’t unsay the criticisms that came before. Sentences that begin “I shouldn’t tell you this but” need to remain unspoken. We all have a responsibility to be as careful with our words as we are with our vehicles because accidents are common.
I think the need for caution is particularly important in my blogging because the words remain. My father taught me that lesson after he read one of my blog entries. He pointed out that the only entry I made about a particular event was me griping about inconveniences which made the creators of that event feel like the event had been a failure. The event was a wonderful one, but I hadn’t told those parts. If I left the entry to stand as it was, then that was all anyone would know. It would become history. I edited the entry to give a much more balanced report.
I love blogging. I love being able to share my thoughts and my life. I love having people respond. I particularly like the times when people say that my words have somehow helped them. I feel like this blog is a good thing, but the potential for damage is huge, and so I must be very careful. I must never say anything about anyone in writing that I would not say if they were standing in the room with me. Because these words stay here and that person may wander through later.
“In another few years (like maybe when she’s 16) we’ll probably get her a livejournal account of her own and then she can comment and tell her side of these stories.“
Also known as “The rebuttal” or “Defense’s opening remarks”. 🙂
I have to agree about the need to be careful what gets posted online. This is one of the reasons I don’t post much. A lot of the stuff I feel like writing in a journal is not for public consumption.
I am always impressed that you find so many interesting and positive things to write about that are suitable for public consumption. It is something I aspire to, but have rarely achieved.
That’s a very good point! I find I have to write an “anti-journal” which is completely private, where I can “vent” about things that are troubling. That doesn’t mean that I never write anything negative in my journal or my live journal, but when I do, I’ve worked through the emotional reactions first and decided what is truthful, and what is ridiculous. I guess this is a good way for me to avoid causing damage to anyone who might read what I write.
Then in church today we had a lesson on being careful how we speak to and of each other. There was also a section on being careful how we think and speak about ourselves. The major point of the lesson is that words have great power to heal and do damage. Sticking the words “just kidding” at the end of a sentence doesn’t unsay the criticisms that came before. Sentences that begin “I shouldn’t tell you this but” need to remain unspoken. We all have a responsibility to be as careful with our words as we are with our vehicles because accidents are common.
I think the need for caution is particularly important in my blogging because the words remain.
I think we’ve had that conversation, in fact. One of the rules that my and I share is that we never, ever tell joke’s at the other’s expense — nor make negative comments about the other to other people at all. Ever. Being entrusted with a person’s vulnerabilities is a sacred charge, and couching an attack as humor does not remove the barb planted deep in the heart.
Such barbs build up, one by one, until respect is gone, and love withers away.
And it seems to me that comments while blogging are not necessarily more important — words in the family setting plants those thorns as deeply, and much more frequently, from even minor remarks.
Best wishes!
===|==============/ Level Head