Yesterday’s post about fear was the beginning of an upswing for me. Simply admitting my fear and staring right at it made it all shrink and some of it dissipate completely. The makers of monster movies know this. It is the reason that the audience never gets a good look at the monster in bright light. In bright light the audience can see that it isn’t a monster at all, but a man in a rubber suit. Or, if it is a monster, at least they can see where the teeth and claws are, thus they know how the hero needs to dodge. If you can see the whole monster, you’re no longer in a monster movie, you’re in an action movie. The movie may still be exciting, but it is no longer terrifying.
I’m not terrified anymore. Now I’m just making plans for my actions so that I win this fight against stress. And I’m newly armed with some very nice words from some very nice people who all made me feel much better about my current capabilities and for my future prospects.
Today I am prepared to line tasks up and get them done. The quantity of tasks is huge, but no longer overwhelming. However I do need to plan wisely to make space for it all. I will be spending 20-30 hours per week doing business tasks through next March. This is a significant uptick from the 5-10 hours I’ve been accustomed to. The increased hours on business tasks decreases the available hours for household tasks. This is a problem since life gets miserable pretty quickly when the house is a wreck.
The first step toward solving the problem is one of those “should have realized this sooner” things. Every day Howard and I talk over the plan for the day. Howard tells what comic scripting, drawing, or coloring he needs to do. I tell him about the family schedule and the business things I have to do. The housework almost never gets mentioned in these planning meetings. That is dumb because then no one plans to do it. So step one is to throw the day’s necessary housework into the pile of “things which need doing.” That way, as we divide up the pile, the housework gets assigned. This is a major shift for me. Somehow I’ve continued feeling like the housework is my thing even though we’ve both been working. When Howard worked at Novell and I was a stay-at-home mom, it made sense for me to do the lion’s share of the household work because I was the one that was here. But our lives have shifted and it is time for our housework habits to shift in response. Also the kids need to be doing more. At the moment their whole contribution is the make messes and complain when I ask for help cleaning.
Another step toward solving the problems is for me to clearly define spaces in the day for specific tasks. Some hours need to belong solely to the kids. Other hours are for business concerns. I think there are enough hours in the day, if I use them wisely, and if I make sure to pace myself so that I don’t wear out too soon.