House of cards
I’m not certain what it is about having a fire in the fireplace, but it make me mellow and contemplative. This is a very nice change after the high-stress business of the past week. Howard is more mellow and relaxed too. He’s taking a break from all the drawing today. This is really good. It means he’ll be ready for the home stretch on Monday.
Howard and I sat on a couch facing the cracking fire. “It’s really a miracle you know.” Howard said. It was a somewhat cryptic remark, but I knew exactly what he meant. It is a miracle that this life that we love manages to allow us to pay the bills. It is a miracle that despite our major reduction of income, our life has been happier and more full of wonderful things than it was before. It continues to amaze me that we can give Howard’s cartoons away for free on the internet and people still show up to buy books. It amazes me the wonderful kind words people send us that encourage us and make us believe that what we do is worth doing. Our life these days is like a house of cards that we carefully build one piece at a time. Sometimes I’m afraid to breathe for fear it will all come crashing down. Each moment the house stays standing feels like a miracle. But then when I look closer, I realize that many of the cards are glued together. Neither Howard nor I put the glue there, someone else came along after we were done. The glue is provided by the fans who come and love the house so much that they write emails, or forum posts, or tell their friends, or buy books, or simply laugh. Without those fans providing all that glue, this house would have fallen down long ago. And so I guess our life is not so much a miracle as a gift. It is gift given to us every day by the people who love Schlock Mercenary. I am awed and honored to receive the gift.