Earlier this evening I was sitting here at my computer writing a bog entry. It was a whiny entry lamenting my inability to fit every single thing I want to do into every single day. Mid-sentence I was stopped abruptly by a strong wash of feeling. I needed to stop blogging and go downstairs to be with my kids. I did. It was not a major event. No disaster was averted, but I spent an hour sharing in an activity that they enjoy. I was there for them, completely present in the moment. Usually my brain is miles or days away thinking about other things.
I need to do more of this. I need to be centering myself here and now. I need to look around me, at the blessings I have, rather than constantly fretting over future possibilities. Happiness does not lie in the future. If I can not find happiness in my current circumstances (whatever they may be) then true happiness may forever elude me.
My life is full of wonderful things. Most of them are the same things that I intended to whine about in the earlier blog post. I need to step away from my computer and really see them rather than trying to see past them to something else.
We’ve been rediscovering that ourselves, here. Part of it has been encouraging my wife to take care of household bookkeeping after work, but before she picks up in the kids so that she can then maximize her time with the kids in the evenings before bed.
It’s worked wonders so far.
Sadly, I’m still essentially working a part-time job on top of my regular dayjob, which makes it difficult to see the kids at all. But, I’m working on that too. 🙂