Patches and the Torrent of Words

This morning Patches didn’t want to go to preschool. Instead he clung to me and informed me that he just wanted to stay home. I happen to know that Patches really loves preschool and has a great time there every day, so the slow development of a reluctance to go has puzzled me a little. This morning I was settled enough in my own brain to realize that what Patches was really saying was “I want more time and attention from you Mommy.”

I’ve been busy a lot lately. Patches is around me most of the time, but he usually only gets half attention at best. A lot of our interactions involve me trying to find something to occupy him so that I can go back to working. That adds up over time and creates a little boy who feels lonely. In January I was making sure that I carved out daily slices of time to give Patches full attention. That fell by the wayside for the past month or so. Not surprisingly, this is also when Patches started resisting preschool and bedtime.

Today I scooped Patches onto my lap and read with him for a full 40 minutes before preschool. That is a big chunk of time out of my perpetually busy days, but Patches needed it. When time came to leave for school he was content to go.

The second thing I remembered/realized today is that Patches is very verbal. He uses words to sort his experiences. Since he can’t write yet, he needs someone to listen to him and ask pertinent questions. I should totally understand this because it is exactly the way that I am. Words are how I process my experiences. But no one has been listening much to Patches lately. We’ve all been busy. Tonight at bedtime he expressed a fear of monsters and I realized that his head was so tangled up with thoughts that he felt unsettled. He was interpreting that unsettled feeling as fear. So tonight I had him lay down on my bed while I folded laundry. I asked him about preschool and a torrent of words flowed out of him. He gave me a play-by-play of the treasure hunt, recounted the story his teacher read about leprechauns, explained that he was sad twice because he didn’t get to find clues, described exactly where all the clues had been hidden, pondered on the differences between BBQers and grills, and a dozen other things. He talked nearly non-stop for over 30 minutes. He finally fell asleep when I had to leave the room for a few minutes.

I need to remember this. I need to make time for my Patches. More than any of the other kids, he needs to be able to read and write. I need to take time to teach him those things. I really need to take time to listen to him, particularly before bed.