Day: September 17, 2008

Note shoved under the door of my child who locked herself in after being ordered to her room:
Gleek,
I am mad at you because every time I try to talk to you about the upset over at Bestfriend’s house, you yell at me, or run away, or throw things. I don’t want to be mad, but we have to talk about what you did and how to do it differently.
Mom

Response written in the margin of my note:
no i do’t don’t want to talk.

Gleek,
If a grown up treated people the way you treated Bestfriend’s mom and me, that grown up would be arrested and taken to jail. Hitting, screaming, and running away from people in charge are wrong.

no. I still don’t want to talk.

I’m sorry you don’t want to talk. I want to talk. I want to snuggle you in my lap and talk about what went wrong and how it could be different next time. I want to be on your side, but I can’t be when you scream and run away from me.

no!

Gleek I love you. No matter what. Even if I feel mad I still love you. Mom

yes. I know but I still don’t want to talk.

Okay. I’ll let you be alone for awhile. You don’t have to talk. If you want to come out, but not talk that’s okay too. I am going to go help Link with homework now. I love you.

Mom, I want to talk but I w want to wrigh it on PaPer as note’s.

Okay. I think you need to write a note to Bestfriend’s mom to apologize but you can’t deliver it tonight because she has guests. A note to say sorry to me would be good too.

I’m sore sorry ser so I’m so sorry!

It’s okay. I love you. (( Hug )) <-- those are hug marks.

I love you too! no-mater wat wate wut.

The notes continued for awhile after that. I pushed her homework under the door and she finished it and pushed it back. We even batted a lego man head back and forth under the door for a bit. When she finally came out, we had hugs.

Volunteering in Link and Gleek’s classrooms went well. Link’s teacher has a structured program for me to participate in. Gleek’s teacher will be using me for odd jobs. Both are fine with me. It is nice to have a chance to help other people’s children as well as my own. I really like being able to see how my kids abilities compare to the other kids in the class. Not because I need them to be best, but because it is nice to be reassured that my kids are mostly normal.

At noon there was an impromptu picnic on my next door neighbor’s front lawn. She’d been watching the kids of my other next door neighbor. The mother of the babysat kids arrived home with enough mexican take out for everyone. At first I felt like a bit of a mooch. I hadn’t been the one babysitting after all. It quickly became apparent that there really was enough food for us all. So Patch and I sat down for a picnic with our neighbors.

During the lunch I had one of those “when did I become the experienced mom” moments, as I watched my youngest play happily with my neighbors’ middle kids. I don’t feel any older or more experienced than these two other moms, but I have both a teen and a pre-teen, while their oldests are both still in younger grades.

The lunch wound down as the kids all ran off to ride bikes. It was a joy to see seven five-and-under kids all riding bikes and wagons. When one of the five year olds got tired of pulling the wagon, I got up and took a turn. For a while I even pulled the wagon while toting a baby on one hip. I think my neighborhood is one of the reasons I’m content to leave the baby and toddler years behind. There will always be little ones nearby for me to love.