Month: January 2009

Useful creativity

By / January 3, 2009 / 2 Comments

One of Gleek’s Christmas presents was a friendship bracelet kit. Yesterday we pulled it out and I spent a couple of hours sitting with her and teaching her how to make these knotted bracelets. I made them frequently when I was in high school and it was pleasant to find that the skill lingers in my fingers and memory. I also discovered joy just in the process of making something. I’ve found similar enjoyment from crochet, cross stitch, painting, drawing, and sewing. There is something innately satisfying about creating something that did not exist before I organized the components.

My love of crafting things has one major stumbling block. I dislike clutter. Because of this I have a hard time allowing myself to make things unless I know exactly what I will do with the object once it is done. I don’t want to spend hours enjoying the process of making something only to have the item relegated to garbage immediately thereafter. I can only hang so many things on my walls. We only need so many crocheted doll blankets. I only have so much room to store stuff. I rarely make crafts even though I enjoy the making, because I rarely have a use for the crafts after they are done. Making bracelets with Gleek was allowable because it fell under the “time spent with daughter” category rather than “useless craft” category. Interestingly this Crafts Must Be Useful edict only applies to things that I make. I’m quite happy to let the kids make piles of crafts that get thrown out because I understand that the process of creation is rewarding and valuable. I’m happy to support other adults in hobbies and crafts for the same reasons. It is only my stuff that has to pass scrutiny for usefulness.

I pondered all this as I tied knot after knot on the bracelets while Gleek chattered to me about which bracelet was intended for whom. I realized that I have the same usefulness filter on my writing. If I don’t have an intended home for a particular writing project, it does not get written. I always write for a particular magazine, or for a contest, or for a child, or for my blog. There is always a place for that piece of writing to go. I think this is why my blog has been so instrumental in restarting my life as a writer. It gave me a reason to put forth the creative energy. Why writing must pass the test of usefulness is a mystery to me. It is not as if the stories are creating clutter in my house. It is also interesting to note that if a story is not accepted to its intended home, I’m perfectly content to just let it exist.

Now I am tempted to spend time creating simply for creation’s sake, to prove that I am capable of doing so. Or perhaps the goal would be to teach myself how to do it. But I’m not sure that the usefulness filter is a problem. It certainly saves my house from piles of clutter. I find plenty of creative outlets that pass the usefulness filter, so I am not stunting my creative growth. In the end I suspect that this is just part of who I am and how I live my life.

The second day of a brand new year. Not much to report.

By / January 2, 2009 / 4 Comments

I started to write a post about my goals for the new year, but then I realized that the goals are really just my to do list and possibly boring. Also I realized that some of my goals make public some aspects of my life that I don’t usually share with the entire internet. Faced with creating a truncated list for public consumption I decided I’d just put the list in my paper planner rather than my online journal. It will probably be more useful there anyway.

Today I continued the purge of unused items. I gave our bedroom the same treatment as the rest of the house and cleared out a bunch of stuff. It feels good to have space instead of clutter. It felt even better to load all the stuff into the van and take it to the thrift store. I love looking at a bag of things and knowing that I’m never going to have to pick them up again. Now I just need to tackle my office.

The kids have been playing together really well during this holiday break. I’ve really enjoyed watching them spend hours just being together. By posting that, I have probably jinxed it and they will spend the remaining two days of holiday in one long squabble. I’m actually kind of expecting that. For some reason everyone gets on the nerves of everyone else the last day or two of a school break. I suspect it has to do with the imminent return of school. It would be nice to be proved wrong, but I expect Sunday to be cranky. Then Monday will come and the schedule will settle back over us and I’ll breathe a sigh of relief.

Kiki and Howard are off to a role playing game this evening. Kiki considers the invitation to play as the best Christmas present ever. I’m glad to see her so happy. I’m even more glad to have her so willing to help around the house cheerfully. She is at an age where she needs some focus for her days. We are just geeky enough as parents to believe that a regular roleplaying session is a good focus.

Bedtime at the end of recovery day.

By / January 1, 2009 / 8 Comments

To all outward appearances bedtime has been quiet. There were stories and then the three younger kids all stayed in their beds. More or less. There were long spans of quiet interspersed only occasionally with whispers or quiet singing or the resounding thumps of a child trying to sneak out of bed. The scene appears quiet. This does not change the fact that 90 minutes after I tucked them into bed, knowing that they are all in dire need of sleep, they were still awake. Add to that the fact that Kiki and I can not watch Dr. Who until we’re sure it will not wake up a younger child or cause them to get out of bed and tantrum because they can’t watch too. Add to that the fact that I’m running on only five hours of sleep and I know I need to get up on time in the morning to begin reasserting the normal schedule, so I need to get to bed on time. This means time is running out for me to watch anything at all. All of this leads me to grouch at the kids and bark ridiculous orders like “Go to sleep!” as if the kids could choose to comply rather than having to lay still in the dark and wait for sleep to come to them. The fault is not theirs. Staying up until 1 am then sleeping until 9 has tweaked their biorhythms. I can’t expect to fix that in a single day.

It has been a good day. It really has. None of the tantrums and conflicts I expected showed up. I’m just tired and I can’t be off duty until they are sleeping.

After the party is over

By / January 1, 2009

Today is a day of recovery after a night of revelry. We had about 18 people in our house for more than five hours. Games were played. Food was eaten. Laughter was shared. The party broke up late because we were all having too much fun talking. We need to not wait until New Years to do this again. It was fun. One of the best things for me was how well behaved all of the kids were. I got to enjoy spending time with adults rather than feeling split because the kids upstairs needed me at the same time guests needed attention. I did have to run upstairs frequently, but it was never a problem. All the guests got along well and I think everyone had a great time. A big help in all of this is that the majority of the guests are already good friends with the same interests. We could all laugh at the same jokes.

Kiki joined the party right with the adults. Link sometimes did party stuff and sometimes went upstairs with the other kids. He particularly liked getting to play Rock Band with the grown ups. Gleek and Patch had a party of their own in Gleek’s room. I set up an inflatable mattress across from Gleek’s desk and they watched movies while eating treats. We made them all eat a good dinner before the guests arrived, so there was a complete lack of sugar crashes. Sometimes the kids came down to join the larger party, but mostly they were content upstairs. Just after midnight I came up to make them turn the movies off. They were all asleep within minutes, too tired to even argue about who had the most space on the mattress.

Today is for recovery. There really is not much party clean up. Most of the detritus was swept into the trash very quickly. And the house is still clean and organized. It feels really good to be starting the new year with a clean house. I let all the kids sleep in. They’re still short on sleep, so I’m monitoring closely. I’ve been feeding them at regular intervals and encouraging low-conflict activities like watching movies. It would be good to get them out and moving this afternoon. Mostly we’re just taking today slow and bedtime will be early. Tomorrow begins the process of reasserting a normal schedule so we’re ready for school to start on Monday.

I think that one of the best signs of a good party is that everyone leaves saying “We should do this again soon.” It is an especially good sign if the hosts agree. Howard and I want to throw parties like this one again. It was a fun time.