Mother’s Day sneaked up on us this year. I knew it was coming, but I’ve been to busy to give it more than the occasional thought. This is very different from the Mother’s Day 14 years ago when I was expecting Kiki. I was so pleased to lay claim to Mother’s Day. It had become a day for my efforts to be appreciated. It stayed that way for all the intervening years. Some years I desperately needed that show of appreciation. But this year is different. This year I am realizing that collecting praises is not what Mother’s Day should be about. It should be like Christmas, where the focus is on the giving rather than the receiving. And then I realize that because I have been so busy, I have not planned anything for the mothers in my life. I had a plan. I’d intended to finish a photo book to give to my mother and grandmother, but time slipped away and the project is not done. Once again I’ll be left to making phone calls. My mother and grandmother will not mind, just as I don’t mind the fact that Mother’s Day caught Howard and the kids unaware. The important piece is the love and appreciation we give rather than the shape that love and appreciation takes.