I am spending too much time apologizing for delays and searching for things I never should have lost in the first place. This is driving me a little crazy because my preferred mode of operation is to accomplish tasks fast so that I am waiting for someone else. Lately too many people end up waiting on me. Too many things require simultaneous organization and in the scramble important things get lost. It does not help that I have physical limits. Today would be less stressed if I’d accomplished more yesterday. But yesterday my brain shut down at 4 pm. I could not find the drive to get moving again.
This morning I put on my business face, determined to knock down all the tasks on my list so they can stop looming at me. I want to end today with no one waiting on me. Then Link, who is being very perceptive lately, said “Mom, what’s wrong? You’re not usually like this.” He’s right. I try not to wear my business face around the kids because it too closely resembles the angry mommy face. And that sums up the dilemma of this summer. I have to switch rapidly between high efficiency business and go-with-the-flow parenting. It does not surprise me that things are getting misplaced, but it does frustrate me.