I’m not sure where the line is between realization and epiphany. I suspect it is that epiphanies change one’s life while realizations change only the day, week, or month. If this is so, then today I had a realization. I ended yesterday tied in emotional worry-knots over the various challenges of my various children. On one level I knew that it is all going to be okay, but my brain would not stop fretting. A large part of the fret is that I knew I needed to have at least five different conversations with five different adults about the needs of my kids. All of these conversations need to take place either today or tomorrow. My brain was creating sample dialogs until the wee hours of the morning while simultaneously fretting that being over-tired would not help any of the conversations. Even this afternoon with two of the conversations begun (but not complete. grr.) I am still fretful. So I abandoned my self to the fret for a few minutes. For lack of a child to snuggle, I grabbed Patch’s giant stuffed dog and curled up for a think. This is when the realization hit. I am stressed because I am team building. These conversations are to determine whether these other adults will be allies, obstacles, or enemies to the needs of my children. I am embarking on a new school year and I don’t yet have my team in place. I don’t know how much burden is going to fall on me and how much I can rely on the teachers and/or administrators. This shift in perspective removes some of the stress. So far I’ve identified one potential ally and one potential obstacle. I’ve also identified an additional person with whom I need to converse. So I have four more conversations to go. Building alliances is exhausting.