My children have turned into gaping pits of need. I feel like I have spent most of this week pouring time and energy into these pits with no evidence that they are filling up. Where these pits come from is not entirely a mystery. We’re just coming off of six months where I did not neglect them, but I had no time to spare for minor childhood traumas such as “all the crackers are broken.” My unresponsiveness on small-but-important-to-them issues has created an emotional deficit which needs to be addressed. Then there is the beginning of a new school year which fills them with stimulation, and excitement, and the stress of new expectations to meet. Kids always need extra support and reassurance while they are settling into a new school year. The third factor is the largest. Several of my kids have moved into developmental phases where they are growing fast and pushing forward. This new growth manifests as either pushing limits or increased anxiety. It forces me to shift my parenting techniques to manage the changes.
Unfortunately, knowing how the pits were dug does not provide me with the infinite amounts of time, energy, patience, and sympathy needed to fill them. All I can do is keep shoveling even though I’m ready to fall down from fatigue and hope for a landslide to come help me out. And to think that I spent some time this summer feeling guilty for not spending much creative/emotional energy on the kids.