This has not been a weekend for thinking. It has been a weekend full of reality-avoidance in the form of television on DVD. But I’ve put all of the boxed sets away now and I think I’m ready to pick up all my things so I can work effectively during the next week. It is interesting to note that in three separate church related meetings, four separate speakers spoke about the value of our time and the importance of using it wisely. Only once was this theme the focus of the lesson, the rest of the time it was just mentioned in passing. While the mentions passed, they jumped out at me and something in my brain said “this is for you.” Obviously this weekend is not a good example of me listening and learning, but I intend to do better next week.
I think the avoidance was in part fueled by a conversation I had with a good friend on Friday. It was one of those fascinating conversations where I dig around in my brain and discover that I’ve got stuff that needs sorted through and assimilated. None of it is earth shattering or likely to cause epiphany. Most of it was discovering small things that which send out ripples of stress into other things. Finding the source of the ripples gives me some power over them which is good. Or, it will be good once I start taking care of it all instead of watching fictional people make emotional messes. It is kind of like watching a train wreck so that I can figure out how to never ride that particular train. (Side note: Lessons learned from television this weekend: Keeping secrets from friends and family is asking for pain. Thinking about someone besides oneself is a really good idea when making decisions. The phrase “I had no choice” is almost always a lie, usually a rationalization lie. The sentence “You wouldn’t understand” is like a shield to prevent others from understanding because if they do understand you, that would make you vulnerable. Vulnerability is scary, but ultimately the only way to develop closeness to another person. End side note.)
This next week has no major scheduled events. A routine week would be a good thing. We need lots of those in the next two months so we can turn <i>Resident Mad Scientist</i> into a real book. Also it would be nice to finish cleaning and organizing the house, which is much more likely to happen when life is routine.