I’ve been dealing with some tiring stuff this past week. None of it is difficult or drama laden. I just get worn down by the one-thing-after-another with few breaks in between. I am worn down by the end of most days. Often I feel like crying. The parenting load is particularly heavy because of the time I spend worrying about long term repercussions of the day’s decisions.
My tiredness does not change the fact that I am much happier this Fall than I was last Summer or Spring. I am still buried under things to do, things which wear me out, things which tax my capabilities, but last Spring I kept sacrificing important things to manage urgent things. Now I am spending most of my days on the things which have long term importance to me. The difference is huge. Even when I am so tired I want to sit and cry, I feel calm. At peace. Life is not easy, but it is good.
The good news is that things are going to get even better. The kids have already settled in to the school year, but as we keep going they’ll get practiced at interpreting the desires of their teachers. They’ll internalize the expectations and make meeting them habitual. All of that will take time. Some days are going to be harder than others, but on the whole I think we’ll see slow improvement in the next few months. Status quo through Thanksgiving sounds really good to me. After that we’ll be headed for Holiday shipping and the finishing touches on a book. December is always busy.