I’ve not had any emotional energy to spare since last Friday. At first I was attributing this to how much intervention my kids have needed over the past few days. But the fact that I crashed on the couch and slept for most of the afternoon may indicate that something else is contributing as well. I don’t feel at all sick. I just feel like I stayed up too late. But feel that way despite the fact that I got a full night’s sleep in addition to the hours I slept on the couch. It is possible that the fatigue is due to extreme emotional drain, but it is more probable that I’m fighting off some viral bug. (I hope not. I particularly hope not since I went out to lunch with a couple of good friends and I would feel bad if I had anything communicable. That would be a poor way to repay the lovely time I had visiting with them.)
The sleep was punctuated with waking up to negotiate squabbles between kids. I can’t say I managed the negotiations at peak efficiency, but I didn’t lose my cool either. Of course cool is easier to maintain when you’re too tired to attain a mental state more energetic than “groggy.”
Of late Link and Kiki have been absorbing all of my focused parenting energy. Today I focused a little more on Gleek. Mostly I tried to just notice her and figure out what she needs so that she’ll stop deliberately provoking her brothers in the middle of a previously peaceful game. I think I’ve figured out the shape of her needs, but I need to talk to her teacher to make sure my picture is complete.
I need to talk to Link’s teacher too. I need to talk to these teachers even though I dread learning about further needs that I have to address. Also I’m feeling a bit burned out on the whole communication with teachers thing since I had meetings with four of Kiki’s teachers just last week. (3 very happy meetings, 1 not at all happy meeting with final determination still pending.)
Talking with teachers is exhausting. Usually the result is happy or at least cooperative towards a happy end. But I can’t know ahead of time exactly how the conversation will go. Interactions have the potential to go wrong and it is important for me to build cooperation not damage it.
Also pending are Halloween costumes and pumpkin carving. I need to find the energy for those in the next two days.
Howard rescued the evening. He made dinner. This allowed me to organize the homework load. I played divide and conquer. I tackled each child separately rather than attempting to administer a communal homework time. I was so grateful to Gleek who cheerfully did all of her work the very first time I asked. The other three needed cajoling.
Now they are all in bed. Next I will sleep and hope for a more energetic tomorrow.