Day: November 23, 2009

“See Wendys is over here and the art store is here by the grocery store. So if we go to the art store first, then we can stop at Wendys on the way back.”

Two heads were bowed in concentration over the hand drawn map. Kiki and Link both had money in their pockets and they were planning an expedition. All of the locations in question were within walking distance and the big street to be crossed made the trip sufficiently adventurous. This was the night-before planning session. The trip was to be executed the following afternoon.

After the planning was over, Link came to me with a nervous smile.
“I was thinking that Kiki and I are going together and it is just us. It is kind of like a date, cause we’ll be going together and getting to know each other.” We then talked about dates and dating. We talked about how a date with a sister isn’t quite the same thing, but how it is similar in other ways. Mostly Link was thrilled that Kiki wanted to share this outing with him. He was very sad when she turned the corner of teenagerhood and stopped playing games with him. But now he is rounding that corner as well and is discovering that once again his sister is ready to include him in her plans.

The next day arrived and all the intervening events (such as school and chores) were dispatched. The two explorers geared up to head out. I reviewed with them their routes and admonished them to be home before dark. Then I watched as they dashed out into the neighborhood. I was nervous. This trip was farther afield than I am accustomed to letting my children wander. But I can not hope to help them build independence if I hold them so tight that they never have the chance to test their wings. They had planned well. The neighborhood is a safe one. They would stay together. So I let them go.

They returned triumphant 90 minutes later, blown into the house on a gust of chilly air. Their eyes were bright, their cheeks were red, and their smiles were broad. They felt strong and independent and triumphant. They each clutched a bag of Wendy’s food purchased with their own money. They’d decided to bring the food home because they wanted to be home before darkness fell. Happy energy filled our home as Kiki and Link shared fries with those of us who had stayed home. Kiki also shared spoonfuls of her cookie dough milkshake. They chattered about their adventure. And Kiki displayed her spoils.

Art supplies had been the driving force behind the trip, but she had also acquired nail polish and mascara. These treasures were displayed along with a request that maybe I could show her how to use the mascara. Kiki hasn’t been interested in makeup until just lately. Link didn’t buy anything at the stores. He was in it for the the food and the adventure. He took the mission to get better acquainted seriously. Apparently he asked conversation-starter questions like “what do you like to do?” Which made Kiki laugh. But they giggled and goofed and made it home safely.

The happy mood was contagious. It spread to the whole family. I truly hope that this is not a singular event. I hope to see many more outings of this nature. I hope that even though it will make me nervous every time. If I want to see them fly, I have to let go.