Part of a larger picture
There are some days where events fit together as part of a much larger picture.
The speaker in church talked much on personal revelation, that we each can receive inspiration to direct our actions and guide our lives. This is something I believe in strongly. I’ll admit that I was only giving the speaker half of my attention, as the rest of my attention was on Gleek’s artistic explorations into cross hatching. The kids require lots of encouragement to remain non-disruptive. But in the midst of showing Gleek the different effects that can be achieved by cross hatch density, I suddenly found myself listening with full attention. The speaker spoke of building life habits around seeking inspiration. This is something I’ve tried to do in my life. Because of it there have been times when I have felt clearly and strongly about things I needed to do or say. Lately it has all been a muddle. I haven’t felt strong or clear about anything. Mostly I’ve just been trusting that part of myself that says “do this next.” There hasn’t been time for quiet thoughts or big perspectives. What came to me while listening to the speaker is that the “do this next” voice can be every bit as inspired as the quiet, calm, perspective-driven decisions. I’ve trained myself to recognize and respond to that quiet inner voice. It makes sense that I would keep responding even when there isn’t much time for thought. I also realized that I miss having the larger perspective. If I want it back, I need to carve out some time for it to exist in. I resolved to do some quiet thinking during the rest of church while I was away from the kids.
Quiet thought during church was not to be. Instead I was asked to be a last minute substitute for the primary class that I used to teach. I agreed without a qualm. I love those kids and I know that they really need someone who understands the particular personalities involved. The class had gotten more challenging, not less. Later in the evening I spoke with my backyard neighbor who is their regular teacher. We got to compare notes and discuss the needs. The conversation was helpful in spinning ideas about how to help the kids in the class. It sparked ideas both in her and in me about things that could be done to further help. That conversation would not have happened without me being willing to drop my plan for quiet contemplation.
Directly after church our home teacher came to visit with us. Home teaching is one of the community building activities of our church. Men are paired up and assigned families to visit once per month. This builds friendships and also provides a conduit for information and help in times of need or crisis. We don’t often need much from our home teachers, so the visits tend to be a social visit with a lesson attached. The home teacher arrived and his lesson was tailored just for our family. He spoke about burdens and engaged all of the kids in the discussion. He touched on all the angles that Kiki needs when contemplating school. He gave Gleek direct attention and praise, which she needs. His lesson even let me share my story about the handful of meal and a little oil, that we can somehow give of ourselves and not turn up empty. It was a really good lesson that answered the needs of several family members. Only he had no idea of the needs he was answering. He had no idea how burdened I’ve felt of late, or how various things he said applied to the various situations of our family members.
So in one day I had an insight which has potential to make my life feel more peaceful. I was given the opportunity to answer a need. Then someone else unknowingly answered needs in our family. These are the times when I can sense the larger picture of which I am only a small piece. It has been a good sabbath.