I did not deal with shipping issues today. Instead I tackled financial reports. I had monthly, quarterly, and yearly reports to file with two federal departments and two state departments. There were also royalty reports to authors and artists. I was pleasantly surprised when these tasks were all accomplished within the space of a single work day without me once having a desire to smack something. Two days and much smacking is what I consider normal for this process, so I was glad.
Less pleasantly, Gleek has been running a bit wild at home. She is pushing limits hard, and definitely punching some of my buttons. My preferred parenting methods involve empathy and reason, unfortunately she just uses those as a springboard. Instead I have to get strict. I don’t like it, but it seems to reassure Gleek. At least once she stops being furiously mad (usually within an hour) she is calmer, happier, and ready to behave better. She’s like the cow who has to push against the electric fence four or five times to make sure that it really will zap her every time. If it does, then she stays clear of the fence, content with the space provided. I don’t like being strict or using my mean voice. It feels very contrary to the spirit of calmness and happiness that I’m attempting to cultivate in my life.
I’m still reviewing my five things. They still help me feel calm and centered. Removing the fear and emotional imbalance has allowed me to see that one source of frustration is that I have more important tasks than I have hours to do them. As soon as we’re sure we can afford it I want to hire an assistant to help me manage the daily shipping and administrative tasks for our business. It would be nice if that occurred this year. Right now the back of my brain is full of small details and tasks I need to not forget. I want that space so it can be simmering words and plots.
My black binder full of my book is sitting and waiting to be edited. It has been waiting for more than a month. I feel it is important. Howard feels like it is important. But urgent things keep jumping in and taking up my time. Tomorrow I’ve put an appointment on the calendar. My binder and I are going to the library where we will spend two hours away from every distraction. Hopefully that will work.