Last night I was down stairs discussing a chapter with Howard and the rest of our writing group when I heard clattering in the kitchen. Link was doing the dishes. Unasked. Link also made an exercise chart and proceeded to do exercises. Then he sat with our writer’s group and participated in the conversation instead of disappearing into a video or video game. Today he kept to his schedule of exercise. He also encouraged the younger kids to eat their dinner and even cooked a pizza for them. He said “Mom. I like my new schedule. I’ve been happy ever since I started it.”
The origin of this new and improved Link is not a mystery. He and I had a scolding conversation the day before where I pointed out to him the quantities of time that he has been spending glued to screens. Add to that the fact that he has begun his first junior high PE class. Also add that his scout troop has just begun working on the Personal Fitness merit badge. All of these circumstances appear to have clicked together in his head and he is newly ready to take charge of his life.
I know that the road ahead is not going to all be sunny and cheerful as today was. Link is going to have tired and grouchy days. He’s going to forget (or not want) to keep to his schedule. This is okay. The fact that he made it and kept it for awhile means that the next time he does something similar he’ll already have some practice. This is the same method I used to teach myself how to stay organized. It is also how I taught the kids housework.
Create a system with built in incentives and tracking.
Use it until it breaks down.
Build a new system based upon what I learned from the previous one.
Repeat as necessary.
Once I realized that the break down of a system is part of a process instead of a failure, I felt much better about my capabilities. Now I just need to figure out how to teach that to Link. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy Link’s new confidence and enthusiasm.