I am not currently reading anything off of the internet. Unless the News is big enough to enter the convention chatter, I will not hear about it until the middle of next week. My regular round of blogs are stacking up and it will take me some time to get through the pile. I’m only checking email and Twitter, both from my phone. This is not unexpected. Conventions are so full of conversations and new experiences that the last thing I need to do is shove more thought-fodder into my brain. I’m already spending at least an hour each night laying awake in the darkness while my mind sorts and files the day. What I want to do upon falling in bed at 1 am is to drop immediately into a deep sleep. Unfortunately the nightly brain sort is fueled by caffeine. I’ve been consuming far more of it than usual to combat the sleep deprivation, which is a little ironic.
In previous years at WorldCon I’ve had quiet moments at the booth where I can do a quick sorting of thoughts. This year I know far more people. There are fewer down times. When I do have them, I often spend the talking with Sal and Caryn who are helping us run our booth and whom I see far too seldom. Part of me worries that the lack of processing time is going to cause me to lose track of thoughts and things which I would otherwise have written. I just have to trust that what I’m doing is accumulating a wealth of raw experiences from which I can pull later. This year I’ve not suffered from the out-of-place feelings which plagued me during the Montreal WorldCon. Although sometimes I am so far outside my normal context that a part of my brain stands up and says “What are you doing here? Is this really what you should be doing?” When I arrive at these thoughts I do a quick check to make sure that I’m not doing something which I’ll feel bad about later. (Not so far) Then I shuffle those thoughts out of sight as quickly as possible, because following that trail of thoughts leads to the part of my brain in which my parenting thoughts are stored. If I delve there I will end up actively missing my kids, which leads to tears.
Tonight is the night when I get to wear my dress and go to the Hugos. Yes I will have pictures later. Sal has an excellent camera. It may be a day or two until I have time to acquire them from Sal and put them up. We have a plan which lets us leave the booth before it closes, change, snatch a quick dinner, and then arrive at the pre-Hugo reception only a little bit late. I hope the plan goes smoothly because the lovely heels I’m wearing are not great for running.