I just sent off my draft to readers and I’m now completely convinced that it is full of stupid, that the whole blog sampler book idea is stupid, that my blog itself is also stupid. Fortunately I’ve been a writer long enough (and I’ve hung around other writers long enough) to know that this is a normal stage of the creative process. I just have to trust that my decision to go ahead on this project was made wisely and rationally. I also have to trust that somewhere in the future I’ll believe in it again. And I will. Just not today.
I’m half way through drafting a big long post about silence and the words which can fill it. Hopefully when it is done it will be interesting or at least coherent. Right now it feels like a collage of words. Collage is a valid artistic choice. A well planned collage can be stunning. A poorly executed collage is a mess.
I have a new concept for my book cover. It is the right concept, now I’ve just got to make it be pretty.
Yesterday was filled with project fugue. Today was made out of interruptions. Patch had strep and thus needed a trip to the doctor. Then there were the two trips to two schools to drop off things to my two daughters, for which service I extracted extra chores. A trip to the pharmacy was also a featured part of the day. Howard spent the day unpacking his post-convention thoughts and his suitcase. I participated in both of those activities. Packages were mailed to customers. All of that on top of a poor night’s sleep. I need to go to bed early tonight.
This is one of the reasons I love your blog. Weird, since I’ve not been around long, but there’s a heaviness in your words–a duality if you will, or perhaps a layered meaning. I cannot wait for the silence post.
And you’re right, the “I-suck-itis” stage is very, very natural.