Month: May 2012

Nebula Weekend Day Two: The National Mall

By / May 19, 2012

I have many thoughts about the things I saw during this day, so this post will only serve as a quick overview of the day as a whole. (Also I forgot to bring my camera cable, so I can only use the pictures I took on my phone and emailed to myself.)

I began my day at the National Museum of Art. Entrance is free, but they will peek into every bag you carry with you. All the things in the National Mall are free, it is a reminder that all these things belong to all American Citizens equally. Most museums discourage photography, the National museums encourage it. Of course you can take pictures, these things belong to everyone. So I snapped away.

I love how grouchy these lions are in Reubens’ Daniel in the Lion’s Den. Sure they didn’t eat Daniel, but they are not happy about it. Apparently Reubens had a thing for lions. He’d spend hours in the zoo drawing them.

I love this gentleman’s messy office. I also love that Willard thought it worth painting.

Then, of course, I have the obligatory up-close and stand-back shots of impressionist art. It is like magic the way that image appears from mess.

I also have the obligatory photographs of D.C. monuments.

I spent most of the day wandering the Mall solo. I ate ice cream, got sunburned, and then navigated the Metro system without getting lost. I feel quite accomplished. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to spool out my more complex thoughts and upload my more carefully composed photos to explain why this trip means so much to me.

Nebula Weekend Thursday

By / May 17, 2012 / 2 Comments

I expected to make a mad dash through the Detroit airport. I only had an hour lay over. Instead I discovered that I’d landed at gate A74 and my departing flight was at A75. I mozied over and sat down. This left me plenty of time to observe how very different the crowd on the DC flight was from many of my previous flights. There were lots of suits, expensive ones. I tried to play “spot the Geek” to see if anyone on my flight was also headed to the Nebulas. I didn’t see anyone. I keep hoping for a repeat of the fortunate circumstance that landed Howard and I in a seat next to Paulo Bacigalupi during our flight to Montreal. We had a marvelous conversation the whole way to WorldCon. Failing to spot any geek tribe members I spent time watching at least thirty people who were carrying red passports declaring “People’s Republic of China.” I decided they were tourists. I ended up sitting next to a nice gentleman from this group. We didn’t talk, his English was limited. I didn’t really talk to anyone during my flight travel. I spent the time deep inside my own head. Plenty of thoughts to sort there. I also spend some flight time with Calcifer. He is my new laptop, named after the fire which powers Howl’s magical moving and transforming castle. Hopefully this laptop will be the heart of a castle in the sky for me too. So Calcifer and I produced some words.

Virgina has a law where hotels are not allowed to kick out guests once they have checked in. This matters because a large tour group decided to stay for an extra day and half of the Nebula attendees were relocated to another hotel. Nancy and I were among those who’ve been relocated. The Hyatt was quite apologetic and comped the night’s stay along with providing free cab vouchers and free internet. They also ran shuttles after events ended this evening. So instead of being in a Hyatt we’re in the Gaylord. As near as I can tell the Gaylord is a hotel designed to allow rich people to impress each other. The last time I was in a space so consciously lavish was the Casinos in Reno. But Casino hotels feel like a tarnished lavish and this one feels like it means the lavishness. Interestingly, I don’t feel intimidated by it. It is a hotel. I have a bed to sleep in. All is well.

Nancy and I came back to the room early. She is still recovering from jet lag, having come from Germany two days ago. I, on the other hand, am on Utah time. Thus I am blogging while Nancy sleeps and while I wait for my biorythmic clock to decide that sleep is possible.

Word from home is that all is going well, which makes me glad. Tomorrow I go touring.

Recognizable Emotional Valleys

By / May 16, 2012 / 6 Comments

There is inevitably a point during pre-orders when Howard and I do the math to compare orders received vs. expected expenses then discover that it isn’t enough. We know that the pre-orders are barely begun, that we still have time, but it is still frightening. It reminds us that everything we have is a gift and that perhaps we should be working harder to earn it. So we make plans to work harder and to spend less.

Any time I go on a trip I spend some time convinced that the whole thing is a bad idea. Usually this hits a day or two before departure when I still have a big list of things I intended to do before leaving, but when I can see that I simply don’t have the time or energy to accomplish all of them.

Toward the end of the school year I experience an emotional lull when I can’t pull together the emotional energy to maintain the structure to support school work. We end up having lots of last-minute scrambles to get things done. My brain also coasts back over the entire year and informs me exactly how I could have done all of it better.

When I release my work in a form where people can pay money for it, and then very few do, it can be hard to remember that the blockbuster model is not the only road to success.

I finally find the right conjunction of time and emotional energy to send out a pile of queries on Stepping Stones. Immediately after, my brain begins to do damage control on the expected rejections. I become convinced that all the effort is pointless because the book will never sell anyway, and if it did sell the money offered would be so small that it would make no dent in our finances at all.

All of these emotional valleys are familiar to me. I’ve been in them before. I will be again. The good news is that the familiarity helps me to know that I’m not stuck in them. I’ll climb out. The bad news is when all of them strike simultaneously at 11 pm on the same evening. I feel quite accomplished that I was able to spectate the experience and identify all the threads instead of turning into a whimpering huddle under the covers.

Now it is morning and I’ve got my hiking shoes on, because the best way for me to get out of these valleys is to start walking.

Book Announcements and News

By / May 15, 2012

It is a newsy sort of day.

First and most important. Pre-orders are open for Sharp End of the Stick. They opened yesterday morning which meant that yesterday was not a good day for clear thinking. You’d think we’d be more relaxed about this after 8 books, but we aren’t. Too much depends upon pre-orders. I always have a pocket of fear that this will be the time that the whole system falls apart. Then we’ll have massive bills and no big pile of money with which to pay them. One of the scariest things about running our own business is accumulating bills that run to four and five figures. Book printing and shipping costs do add up. Lots. So on pre-order day I do one of two things, I either hover over the internet checking figures and obsessively doing math to see if we’ve made enough money to breathe easy for the next six months. OR I run away from the internet and try to pretend that it is not pre-order day. (I call this the “la la la, I can’t hear you” approach. Very mature, I know.) Yesterday manifested as a run away from the internet day. Today I settled in and began to process orders and do math. So far so good. I must say it warmed my heart to see that at least a couple of people ordered copies of Cobble Stones.


Which leads me to the next newsy thing: Cobble Stones is available as an e-book on Amazon. It will soon be available in the Barnes & Noble online store as well. (Any time now. *drums fingers*). And of course you can buy a physical copy in our store. If you have already pre-ordered Sharp End of the Stick and would like to add Cobble Stones to your order, just place a separate order for Cobble Stones and then email schlockmercenary at gmail.com with both order numbers. I’ll happily combine the orders and refund the extra shipping costs. This is the sampler book for which I’ll someday actually create a marketing plan, which will probably include sending copies to book bloggers and encouraging people to do interviews. The trouble is that I launched this book right in the middle of also launching the SEOS pre-order and that simply has to get more attention right now. But one thing I learned from Hold on to Your Horses is that my creative works do not need to be blockbusters right out of the gate. Hold Horses took three years to pay back its expenses, but it continues to sell at a steady trickle. More importantly it continues to be useful and make people happy.

While I’m finally putting my writing into formats where people can actually buy it, my sister has put together two anthologies containing my stories. The Awards Weekend Anthology includes my short story Immigrant, previously published in the DAW anthology Ages of Wonder. The Mind of the Beholder features one of my earlier stories Bethan’s Garden. For the longest time this story only existed on my website, but Nancy felt like it was a perfect addition to a book which addresses science fictional characters who are neuro-divergent in autistic ways. The book also features Nancy’s Nebula and Hugo nominated story Movement, which is worth the cover price all by itself.

On the Selection of Bedtime Reading for Children

By / May 13, 2012 / 4 Comments

Note to teachers:

If you assign a book that is historical fiction about the industrial revolution in which all of the protagonist’s friends die dramatically during a factory fire, please let me know the contents of the book so that I can make sure my daughter does not read it at bedtime. My daughter has an extremely vivid imagination and a strong propensity to identify with book characters. She has cried her eyes red and spent an outraged hour telling me all the gruesome details about the deaths and the dishonesty of the industrial revolution factory owner. I suppose this is the point of the book. We must learn history in order to not repeat it. However I can not in good conscience turn off the light and leave my child alone with these dark and terrible thoughts. An application of the Wordgirl audio book may be insufficient antidote to allow sleep to arrive at a reasonable hour.

Thanks,
Me.

Irises as Spanish Dancers

By / May 12, 2012 / 1 Comment

My Spanish dancers are blooming. Okay, they’re Irises, but every time I see them I think of the swirling skirts of Spanish dancers.

Even holding still the petals seem full of motion.

I also love the way that the petals sparkle when you get up close to them in the sunlight.

This year’s crop is thick. I’m going to have to transplant some in the fall so that they have space to grow tall and glorious again next year.

All too soon these beautiful blooms will be gone, but for now I can sit close and enjoy the fragrance.

Favorite Colors

By / May 11, 2012

I’ve been thinking about colors lately. Part of this is driven by the fact that I still have kids in elementary school. In the lower grades knowing your favorite color is of paramount importance. Every “about me” survey will ask about favorite colors. Kids will ask each other as well. Knowing a person’s favorite color tells you something about them. When I was in elementary school I struggled with this question, because I didn’t have one. I liked all the colors. Any time I faced one of those surveys I would write “rainbow” or “all of them.” It came as a great surprise to me to reach adulthood and discover in myself a marked preference for the color green. I don’t know when it started, I don’t know why, but green became my favorite color during the years when my kids were babies and toddlers. That was also the period of time when spring solidified its place as my favorite season. Perhaps the two things were linked. Green is a lovely and soothing color. It blends well with lots of things. Once I discovered my preference for it, I was comfortable. I expected to prefer it for the rest of my life, just part of growing up.

Of course we never stop growing up. Adulthood is not a stopping place, it is a long passageway. There are emotional stages and growth to be gone through as long as we are alive. Of late I’ve discovered that I am drawn to the color orange. I’m also drawn to brilliant persimmon, teal green, sea blue, and deep lavender. Any color that is soft but vibrant. (Not florescent colors. Those hurt my eyes.) I want to surround myself with bright colors. I want to wear them. At first I was concerned by this trend. Perhaps seeking bright colors meant that I was seeking attention, that I wanted people to notice me. But I don’t think it is about forcing people to notice. I think it is more to tell myself to be brave, to stop hiding. I spent several years where most of my thoughts and actions were dictated by suppressed fear and anxiety. Many of my thoughts and actions still are, but I’m starting to untangle it. I’m starting to learn how to dismiss fear. I can be a person who loves and wears bright colors even though it means they may sometimes clash with things around me.

Preparation and Follow Up

By / May 10, 2012 / 1 Comment

In the category of preparation:
Preorders for Sharp End of the Stick open on Monday. Before that can happen I have work to do. I spent a portion of today setting up our online store. I also need to set up some rules and logistics so that we can run a social media contest. At least three lucky Schlock fans will be able to get copies of SEOS a month before anyone else. These advance copies ought to go somewhere that they’ll be loved.

The other thing that is happening next week is my departure for Nebula weekend. I’ve got some sewing to do in advance. Howard needs some alterations for his steampunk costume. He departs for World Steam Expo only a few days after I get back from Nebula Weekend. I do not want to count on having brain cells available for sewing in those three days, so it needs to be done now. I’ve also got a couple of things I want to alter before taking them with me to Nebula Weekend.

In the category of follow up:
I went to a writer’s conference last weekend. While there, I met several lovely agents and editors. I need to package up some queries and send them off to these lovely people. My book has zero chance of selling if I never send it anywhere. I’ve also made some notes about things to update on my website. Even more importantly, I released Cobble Stones in a manner that was more like sliding it under the door than giving it a fanfare. I should do an actual marketing push for the book, which means contacting some of the nice book bloggers I met at the writer’s conference. Also, I should write new things.

My office is 85% complete (the remaining 15% is organization and shelving), but our family room is still a jumbled mess. It contains furniture and things which I evicted from my office for construction and have decided will not be going back. Some of it needs to be hauled to a thrift store the rest needs to be sorted and given new homes somewhere else in the house. Hopefully I’ll be able to vacuum the family room sometime before Sunday.

We’re three weeks out from the end of school. There are all sorts of trailing educational ends which need to be tied up before the school doors close for the summer. Kiki has to finish her AP art portfolio. Link needs to bring up his grades. Gleek and Patch have projects and performances nearing completion. My brain tracks all of this, even the things that the kids ought to be tracking for themselves.

By this time next week I hope to have it all done.

Diagnosis Again

By / April 21, 2014 / 4 Comments

“Link is a patient of mine, his diagnosis is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder…” The handwritten note continues with details of medication, but the words are blurred by the tears in my eyes. It is so small this piece of paper, handwritten on a prescription pad. I wipe away the tears with an angry swipe of my hand. Nothing the paper says is news. Link was diagnosed years ago and has taken medication ever since. The only reason I hold this paper is because Link’s current IEP team mentioned that his official diagnosis is not documented in their paperwork. They have a two-inch thick binder full of papers about Link –skill test results, IQ test results, language test results, nine years worth of specialized educational plans, psychological reports–but none of them include this diagnosis. I’m told that if I add this little paper to their stack, it may open up additional support options for Link. So I called the Doctor’s office and he mailed me the paper. It changes nothing. I can’t explain why seeing it written down should make everything feel more real. It just does.

Infants have incompletely formed brains. There are many things that they are incapable of comprehending until their brains develop further. The remainder of childhood is one long biological trade-off, alternating body growth and brain development in a careful dance to optimize the probability of survival. This means that children experience periodic bursts of new comprehension. Suddenly they see the world in new ways and have to re-evaluate everything based on their new comprehension of it. This is why a five-year-old who has never drawn on the walls before suddenly begins to treat the entire house as a huge canvas. The teenage years are hugely important brain development time. Teens are nearing adult comprehension and begin to look forward toward fending for themselves. They desperately need to have an identity and a goal. Link is fourteen, his childhood comprehension of himself is no longer adequate. He has outgrown many of the childhood tools he used to manage his cognitive differences, but has yet to acquire comparable adult tools. He was left with an awareness of being different and little vocabulary for explaining why. He struggled. His struggles drew the attention of myself, his teacher, Howard, and the school psychologist. It was time for a new round of testing. We needed to assess what changes brain development has made and then based on that information we needed to create a plan. We’re mid-testing now. I don’t know what the plan is going to look like except that a huge part of it is sitting down with Link, showing him the test results, and explaining to him what they mean. Link is old enough to be included in the planning. This is part of the process of turning his life over to him.

Link is not the only child for whom I have a prescription pad diagnosis. I have participated in counseling and management of issues for all of my four children, for children of neighbors and friends, for relatives, even for acquaintances. I’ve helped people with ADHD, Autism, Aspergers, Bipolar Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, PTSD, Psychotic episodes, Anxiety, and Depression. Psychology fascinates me and I study it everywhere. I’ve learned enough vocabulary that people ask me about my credentials. I have none, only experience. Yet I am not an expert by any means. And even those who are experts are regularly baffled by the intricacies of human minds and needs. So I study my son. I read the reports until my brain is tired. I gather a team of credentialed experts to help him. Or rather, they gather themselves because, once again, exactly the right people are in place to help with this process. The elementary school psychologist who sat me down all those years ago and told me I might want to consider ADHD is now working at the junior high school. Once again she is here to help Howard, Link, and I as we gather information and plan for what comes next.

Most of what comes next is exactly what we’ve already been doing; small adjustments in classrooms and at home. The necessary changes are so small that it is hard to believe that they are necessary. We make the changes so that Link can learn without floundering. This time one of the small necessary things is including Link in the process so that he will understand himself better. He will be informed and thus able to act upon information rather than stewing in fear and ignorance. I take the prescription paper and I put it on the stack of things to deliver to the school psychologist. Perhaps this declaration of diagnosis will help open a door which Link will need to walk through. My feelings about it are for me to work through without troubling Link.

Presentation List

By / May 8, 2012 / 1 Comment

The following is a list of presentations that I love to give. Some of them I’ve already done several times in different forms. A couple are things I have not yet had the chance to do. If your organization would like me to present, please contact me sandra.tayler at gmail.com. Please be aware that I’m local in Orem, UT. In order to schedule an event more than an hour away, I’ll need several months advance notice and travel expenses paid.

Blogs are More Than Marketing: Learning to put your heart into your writing both online and in your fiction.
This presentation focuses on using blogging to practice writing fiction and creative nonfiction. I’ll provide various examples of what a blog can be, speak about the emotional learning stages involved in maintaining a blog, and discuss how to handle it when people are mean on the internet. I’ll speak about all of this from my 8 years experience of blogging almost daily and from the collected experience of other writers that I know.

Writing Realistic Children
A toddler is not an accessory for your protagonist. This presentation will spend some time talking about stages of human development to discuss things that are typical for children at various ages. But mostly it will talk about the priorities and individualities of children and how those priorities should affect your plot.

Finances for Creative People 201
We’ll cover basic business structure, taxes, and incorporation. More importantly we’ll talk about the ways that running a creative business will affect your daily life and family. Some time will also be spent talking about how to transition from traditional employment to a creative career, how to make a business plan, and how to know when to call it quits. I’ll use illustrative anecdotes from 15 years experience of running a creative business and a family side by side.

Finances for Creative People 101
This presentation covers basic budgeting and money management strategies. Attention will be paid to common pitfalls and simple things people can do to make financial management less frightening. Managing money is a skill that anyone can learn, even those who are “bad at math.”

Anxiety, Depression, and Insecurity: Staying Mentally Healthy While Pursuing a Creative Career
I struggle with anxiety. Howard manages his depression. We both suffer from attacks of insecurity. Using our experiences and extensive research into psychology this presentation will focus on concrete things that a creative person can do to stay healthy. I’ll also discuss how to know when you’ve crossed the line into a clinical condition which needs medical intervention.

Structuring Life to Support Creativity
The way that you schedule your days can squash your creativity if you are not careful. I’ll discuss using biorhythms to your advantage, how physical spaces can affect you psychologically, and why you really do need to have time to play video games or watch movies. These concepts will be illustrated with anecdotes from the lives of artists and writers.

Cover Design Basics
This class focuses on giving writers a grasp on some basic cover design principles so that they can decide if designing their own covers is something that they really want to do.

Schmoozing 101
This class covers introductions, how to begin and end conversations, smooth delivery of pitches, how to seem interesting, how to prop up a flagging conversation, and how to read simple body language.

Successful Collaboration
I’ll discuss the important elements of a successful collaboration and the particular challenges that occur when collaborators are friends or family members.

Using Books to Help Kids Who are ADHD, Autistic, or Learning Disabled.
This will begin with a presentation, but will focus on a discussion of specific challenges and solutions. Best in groups smaller than thirty.