Day: November 14, 2013

Making Things Worse

By / November 14, 2013

“Mom, you’re not helping.” he cried out in sadness.
“I’m definitely not making things any easier right now.” I said.
I hadn’t, because my child was sad, and lying to himself about why. So, I pulled the real reason out where he had to see it. Which made him even more sad. But if he can see the real source of the sadness, he has the chance to heal from it.
I am helping. Though it doesn’t feel like it. Not to him. Not to me.

One of the hardest parts of parenting is listening to a child cry and knowing that the very best thing I can do is to let that child fully experience and work through the emotions without intervention. My instinct is to soothe, to make it better. Sometimes that is exactly what is needed. Other times it is exactly what is not. I wish the different times came clearly labeled so that I could choose my actions with confidence. Instead it is all stumbling around in the dark and hoping that this space in the underbrush is actually a trail that goes somewhere less dark.

The Busy Season

By / November 14, 2013

Tis the season when I could use an auxiliary brain or two in order to keep track of all my things. This season is always heralded by the opening of calendar pre-orders which usher in the holiday shipping season in our store. I’ve got as stack of 300 invoice sitting on my desk waiting for calendars to arrive so that I can ship them. I’ve got twenty more orders which can be shipped now, the top task for tomorrow morning.

Or it would be the top task, but I’m still putting the finishing touches on the warehouse move. I’ve got to clear out those storage units and buy fire extinguishers so that we can pass the safety inspection for the business license in the new location.

Only I’ve also got three guest posts that I’m excited to write and I really want a few hours of head space in which I can get them done. The host blogs have set me some really cool topics and I want to turn notes into writing.

Of course there is still all the kid stuff. Homework does not stop. I don’t have to do it, I end up helping the kids remember to do it, and making extra trips to the store for ingredients. Or groceries. The kids want to eat every single day.

It all adds up. At least this year I have zero involvement with the church Christmas party, for which I am very grateful. December is just not a good time for me to have more things to do.

This morning was glorious. I was at the top of my game, knocking down To Do items one after the other. I did all the things. Around 2pm my day abruptly shifted into serious annoyance and grouchiness. It is entirely possible that this was related to the fact that my “doing all the things” somehow failed to include adequate nutrition. Howard fed me and things got a bit better. But I’m still here at the end of the day and despite being super-human this morning, I still have an oppresively long list of things for tomorrow.

I miss having spaces in my day. I know from experience that I’ll have some during Thanksgiving weekend. The internet kind of goes to sleep for those days and my work load lightens. Then things won’t be calm again until around December 23 when people stop ordering because the things won’t arrive in time for gift giving. Deep breath. I can do this.