There was a moment early in the first panel of the day where I thought “I just don’t have this in me.” I arrived to LTUE tired, not sleepy, but weary. I’m still not up to speed after being sick. We still haven’t returned to normal. I’d arrived at the event to discover how many things I’d forgotten to bring in order to stock our table. They were things I normally would not forget. Then in the panel, I was half way through a sentence when a sound in the room distracted me. I lost my place and could not find it again. I handed off the microphone and hoped I’d have a chance to speak more clearly later. I did. The panel was fine, and hopefully useful to those attending.
I just wish I could come to LTUE with my full capabilities. I love this event. I love the energy and the people. They’ve given me lots of great program items. I’m going to do my very best to give back. But I’m tired. People who know me can tell that I’m tired. Sometimes people who don’t know me can tell too. I don’t want to be tired, but I am.
I came home early, in part because I was the only one available to pick Patch up from school, but also in part because I need to conserve energy. I’ll go back tomorrow and hopefully have more energy. I’ll need it, because tomorrow is my day of solo presentations.