Yesterday was a rough ride on the parenting front. Today there was a series of small things that gave me hope that my kids are growing in the directions they need to go.
Homeschool was accomplished without drama and for once we got through all the tasks I’d hoped for.
I took two kids to an archery range and they enjoyed it so much that never-leave-the-house boy is interested in going back once per week.
Never-leave-the-house boy has also joined an after school game club where he’s acquired an interest in Magic: The Gathering. Suddenly we have an incentive program for accomplishing school work as he wants to acquire more cards.
There was spontaneous showering and laundry washing by children who used to not care nor change clothes ever.
High school girl is managing school without meltdowns and has been actively engaged with all of her classes.
Twenty year old made an appointment to go play racketball with someone who does not live in our house. He’s going to get to go out and do a social thing.
Twenty year old has also identified an educational program that may enable him to reach for his long-term goals. We’re touring the facility next Tuesday.
College girl has been sailing through her last semester and has taken on a leadership role among her peers in a studio class. She’s working hard, but enjoying the effort.
None of the kids are where we hope they will end up. (Though college girl is closest, only lacking an independent income.) I would like for never-leave-the-house boy to be able to speak to people at school and engage with his classes and peers. I’d like for high school girl to find some regular social activities that connect her with people and some ways to serve that help her have meaning in her days. I’d like for twenty year old to learn enough of the small adulting skills that he can live independently. We can’t do these things yet, and that is discouraging. But we spent several years where I watched them all get smaller and smaller. Where everything was getting worse and getting harder. Now we have hard days, but I can tell that the shape of the difficulty is about growing. Growth is rarely comfortable. After a day with crying, it is nice to have a day with hope.
I’ve just noticed that you’ve stopped using the children’s code names (Patch, Gleek, Link, Kikki). Deliberate decision as no longer appropriate, or just a change in writing style?
It is a combination of things. As they’ve gotten older their stories seem more their own and less mine to tell. Also it feels wise to have stories about their childhood less easily searched as their peers are on the internet more. And the childhood nick names don’t fit them as well as they used to.
Thank you! And thanks for the expanded blog post too (which is what prompted me to come back here and look at the answer – I had been meaning to, honest!).
All good reasons.
Also, Yay! for progress.
The accumulation of hopeful blessings, right as despair was starting to wound you… could be coincidence. Could be loving grace. I choose b. Blessings on all of you. And show this to Howard so he can get back into the showering habit. Lol.
I’m continually surprised by the passage of time, such that it’s apparent from the above that your younger girl is now in high school where I recall here being pretty young when I first “met” you all online, through Schlock Mercenary. Must be gettin’ old or something. It’s also apparent that you’re doing a pretty good job, I’d say.
Also, Yay Archery. It’s something I only started doing in my thirties, but as a sport/occupation it’s one I’ve pursued longer than any bar for computer games, must be gettin’ on for 20 years now. Mind you, I’m still not exactly *good* at it, but that’s mainly not enough practice and the fact that ideally I’d have started at least 15 years earlier.
Heh.
I was the only person in my scout troop that managed to accidentally shoot an arrow AROUND a hill (no, not over, around)
I still don’t know how.