Waiting

Howard has been gone for nearly a week now. As I expected, I read a lot and watched far more movies than usual. They are all ways to pass the time, to fill the empty spaces that are usually spent interacting with Howard. But I can only read so much and watch so many films before my brain says “enough.” Then I want people to talk to. I hit that wall around noon today. I thought about calling people just to talk. I have many people who would happily chat and keep me company for awhile. But the person I really want to talk to is too busy. He’s working all day every day in a crowded convention center. When he does call the conversations are frustratingly short. He has so many more stories than he’s had time to tell me. I have dozens of small things to tell him. If we could spend hours on the phone we might say it all, but he needs to sleep or he won’t survive the weekend.

I miss him. Our anniversary is next week. 14 years married and I still love it when he calls to talk. We still stay up late because there are too many things to say. Not often, but sometimes. You’d think we’d run out of stories to tell, but we just keep making new ones or finding previously unshared pockets of memory. He’ll be home on Monday. I can hardly wait.