I went to a wedding today. It was beautiful. I loved seeing the glow on the faces of the bride and the groom. They were so happy. The wedding also seemed remarkably stress free. …but I suspect that was merely from the comfortable vantage point of being a guest rather than an organizer. All we had to do was show up at the event and talk to our friends who were also there. It was a lovely break from my house and my stresses.
The other day Howard was talking to me and venting some frustration. I realized that I wasn’t sure what my role in the conversation needed to be. Sometimes the correct response is just to be a listening ear while the rant runs its course. Sometimes my job is to be actively engaged in helping calm or problem solve. Sometimes the needed response is for me to stand up and say something unpleasant but necessary. I’m better at figuring it out than I used to be, but I still get it wrong sometimes. The reverse is also true. I have varying needs for the roles that Howard plays and I frequently fail to communicate which role I need from him. Ah the joys of spousal cross communication. Fortunately Howard and I usually catch it and correct it quickly, so things don’t fester. Both of us have taken turns saying “This was the response I needed from you and didn’t get.”
Sometimes all I need in the world is to be snuggled on a couch surrounded by my kids while watching an entertaining movie. If that is followed by a huggle-snuggle gigglefest, so much the better.
And last but not least, a conversation with Patch.
Patch: We must be rich.
Me: What makes you say that?
Patch: Because we’ve got a suitcase full of money.
I suppose to a five year old my little cash box from which I pay out allowances and chore earnings does look like extreme wealth.
I am rich, not suitcases of money rich, but intangible invaluable rich. Life is good.
Zap and I are still newly weds so sometimes I have to explain my rants and vice versa.
Ona