One of the amusing things about parenting is listening to myself talk to my kids. I’ll be having a conversation which makes perfect sense at the time, then later I’ll think about what I said and laugh because it sounds so ridiculous. I’ve collected a few of these gems over the years.
“Gleek can be an ice cube if she wants to!”
“You tell me what you’re thinking about for breakfast and I’ll tell you why you can’t have it.”
“Doggies with no pants can’t use the computer.”
“Will you shut up so I can tell him to shut up!?”
“If you say ‘please’ one more time I’m going to put you in your room and make you stay there.”
“Let’s go find you a sword that won’t make people bleed.”
My step-mother worked in childcare for 15 years, and accumulated a large number of cute little stories involving what she’d say to the children, and what the children would say back.
But the best line is “I think i’m going to go and laminate my badger.”
My step-mother worked in childcare for 15 years, and accumulated a large number of cute little stories involving what she’d say to the children, and what the children would say back.
But the best line is “I think i’m going to go and laminate my badger.”
My kids are teenagers and I still say stuff like, “If you’re going to kill each other, do it quietly!”
What I love is what my kids say when I look at them after they’ve said something questionable.
Daughter, talking about a Forensic Files episode: “They say you have to think like a murderer to catch one. If I were a murderer, I would have (talks about her idea). Of course, if I was a murderer, I would tell you about it.”
Pause as I try to decide what to say.
Daughter, wrinkling her brow: “Actually, if I was a murderer, I wouldn’t tell you. But don’t worry, Mom! I’m not a murderer!”
She seriously wants to be a coroner or CSI investigator and has for years. SO, I’m not all that worried about her.
Then there was my son when he learned to play Civ II at nine. He comes running into the kitchen while I cooking dinner and excitedly tells me that all he needs to do is to conquer the Japanese and he will control the whole world. After he tells me about his strategy, he goes, “Well, Mom, I have to go kick some Japanese butt.”
I whip my head around and before I can say anything, he says in all seriousness, “Sorry about the language, Mom, but this is war!” and marches out of the kitchen, while I am doing my best to hide the fact that I am laughing. Definitely watched too many John Wayne movies.
My kids are teenagers and I still say stuff like, “If you’re going to kill each other, do it quietly!”
What I love is what my kids say when I look at them after they’ve said something questionable.
Daughter, talking about a Forensic Files episode: “They say you have to think like a murderer to catch one. If I were a murderer, I would have (talks about her idea). Of course, if I was a murderer, I would tell you about it.”
Pause as I try to decide what to say.
Daughter, wrinkling her brow: “Actually, if I was a murderer, I wouldn’t tell you. But don’t worry, Mom! I’m not a murderer!”
She seriously wants to be a coroner or CSI investigator and has for years. SO, I’m not all that worried about her.
Then there was my son when he learned to play Civ II at nine. He comes running into the kitchen while I cooking dinner and excitedly tells me that all he needs to do is to conquer the Japanese and he will control the whole world. After he tells me about his strategy, he goes, “Well, Mom, I have to go kick some Japanese butt.”
I whip my head around and before I can say anything, he says in all seriousness, “Sorry about the language, Mom, but this is war!” and marches out of the kitchen, while I am doing my best to hide the fact that I am laughing. Definitely watched too many John Wayne movies.
Ok, I’m a parent.. those seem like perfectly logical statements!
Ok, I’m a parent.. those seem like perfectly logical statements!
…your icon is approximately the silliest thing I have seen in a month.
Sadly my parents are aware that they are very funny people, so it is hard to catch them being unintentionally so.
Vorn
…your icon is approximately the silliest thing I have seen in a month.
Sadly my parents are aware that they are very funny people, so it is hard to catch them being unintentionally so.
Vorn
That’s because your memories of toddlerdom aren’t clear. Believe me, it doesn’t matter who you are, the stuff that comes out of your mouth when your chasing a small child bypasses most adult-related verbal centers.
As for the icon, it’s a silly gif that’s been bouncing around the INternet for a few years and when I got it this week, I decided I needed an icon that silly. And believe me, it didn’t come a moment too soon.
That’s because your memories of toddlerdom aren’t clear. Believe me, it doesn’t matter who you are, the stuff that comes out of your mouth when your chasing a small child bypasses most adult-related verbal centers.
As for the icon, it’s a silly gif that’s been bouncing around the INternet for a few years and when I got it this week, I decided I needed an icon that silly. And believe me, it didn’t come a moment too soon.
One of my cousins (who I now live near, yay!) has a four year old son who often provokes such comments. A conversation that happened recently:
Little Dennis (not his real name): *makes a train noise*
Dennis’ Dad: Dennis, are you a train?
Little Dennis: *looks at dad as if he’s stupid* No, I’m a boy making a noise like a train.
One of my cousins (who I now live near, yay!) has a four year old son who often provokes such comments. A conversation that happened recently:
Little Dennis (not his real name): *makes a train noise*
Dennis’ Dad: Dennis, are you a train?
Little Dennis: *looks at dad as if he’s stupid* No, I’m a boy making a noise like a train.
I’m not a parent, but I am a child of parents…
And those lines sound perfectly reasonable to me, and I can even picture the events that led up to their use…
The second one sounds like one of my favorite lines “Tell me what you’re thinking, and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.”
I’m not a parent, but I am a child of parents…
And those lines sound perfectly reasonable to me, and I can even picture the events that led up to their use…
The second one sounds like one of my favorite lines “Tell me what you’re thinking, and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.”
I can relate to all of those statements, especially:
“Let’s go find you a sword that won’t make people bleed.”
We have four boys. Need I say more.
I can relate to all of those statements, especially:
“Let’s go find you a sword that won’t make people bleed.”
We have four boys. Need I say more.
You know, I keep track of what my kids say, but, I never thought that I should keep track of the funny things that come out of MY mouth, I know I’ve said some doosies.
My personal favorite is “Gleek can be an icecube if she wants to!”
Here’s two current funnies from my daughter (age 4):
After eating breakfast, (groaning)”Ohhh, I’m SO FULLLLL!!!!” (then cheerfully) “Is it lunch time yet?”
And one of my new favorites: “If I was made out of chocolate, I’d eat myself!”
You know, I keep track of what my kids say, but, I never thought that I should keep track of the funny things that come out of MY mouth, I know I’ve said some doosies.
My personal favorite is “Gleek can be an icecube if she wants to!”
Here’s two current funnies from my daughter (age 4):
After eating breakfast, (groaning)”Ohhh, I’m SO FULLLLL!!!!” (then cheerfully) “Is it lunch time yet?”
And one of my new favorites: “If I was made out of chocolate, I’d eat myself!”
Heh! I actually heard that line or something indistinguisably close a few months ago at a SCA fencing event, when someone brought in an old, beat up and rusty practice blade…
Needless to say, they didn’t get to use it, but a loaner was found and fun was had by all.
Heh! I actually heard that line or something indistinguisably close a few months ago at a SCA fencing event, when someone brought in an old, beat up and rusty practice blade…
Needless to say, they didn’t get to use it, but a loaner was found and fun was had by all.
p.s. I just had a 30 minute long argument that led to a nap for my little girl and fried my logic circuits because she insisted on me ZIPPING up her Dragon Tales costume.
(it only has a dot of velcro at the top and one half of the velcro came off in my hands) So, the argument goes like this:
ZIP IT!
I can’t, there ISN’T a ZIPPER!
ZIIIIIPPPPP IIITTTTTT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!
There IS NOT A ZIPPER! I can pin it…
NOOOO ZIPPP IT NOOWWWW!!!
I pulled the back of the costume around so she could SEE with her very own eyes that a zipper did not exist on the back of her costume.
See? There isn’t a zipper!
ZIIIIPPPP IIITTTTT!!!!!
etc. for 30 minutes until it was really apparent that she needed a time out/nap. crazy.
p.s. I just had a 30 minute long argument that led to a nap for my little girl and fried my logic circuits because she insisted on me ZIPPING up her Dragon Tales costume.
(it only has a dot of velcro at the top and one half of the velcro came off in my hands) So, the argument goes like this:
ZIP IT!
I can’t, there ISN’T a ZIPPER!
ZIIIIIPPPPP IIITTTTTT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!
There IS NOT A ZIPPER! I can pin it…
NOOOO ZIPPP IT NOOWWWW!!!
I pulled the back of the costume around so she could SEE with her very own eyes that a zipper did not exist on the back of her costume.
See? There isn’t a zipper!
ZIIIIPPPP IIITTTTT!!!!!
etc. for 30 minutes until it was really apparent that she needed a time out/nap. crazy.
This is probably going to sound highly naive…
… but I feel the need to make the statement anyway.
It didn’t automaticly occur to me that you would use fake online names for your children on your journal, although now upon reading your userinfo, it seems like something I really should have assumed from moment one…
Some part of me wishes that your children really were named Link, Kiki, Gleek, and Patches though. It just seemed so perfectly reasonable after meeting Howard when he was in Boise… lol
This is probably going to sound highly naive…
… but I feel the need to make the statement anyway.
It didn’t automaticly occur to me that you would use fake online names for your children on your journal, although now upon reading your userinfo, it seems like something I really should have assumed from moment one…
Some part of me wishes that your children really were named Link, Kiki, Gleek, and Patches though. It just seemed so perfectly reasonable after meeting Howard when he was in Boise… lol